IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays , a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 are these days , not visiting their usual doctors and
substitute
Wrong verb form
substituting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medicines and
treatments
Use synonyms
 on their own. In my opinion ,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development. Which can lead to serious illnesses , potentially harmful situations and problems late on in life.
Firstly
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 , a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 have got used to
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 medicine on their own without a
doctor
Change noun form
doctor's
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 concern.
For instance
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 , if a person gets
headache
Add an article
a headache
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 , they take a
pain killer
Correct your spelling
painkiller
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. Especially Sri
Lankan’s
Change noun form
Lankans
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 take Panadol.
Although
Linking Words
 it relieves your pain but detrimental problems might rise in future.
Moreover
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 , like kidney failure , severe gastric issues
and
Correct word choice
apply
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lead to depression and other issues . to illustrate , without proper knowledge about the medicine , do not use it.
Furthermore
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 , intaking natural remedies ;
for example
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 , hot ginger tea or hot soup would be a healthy option to relieve
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
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.
Secondly
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 , folks take
treatments
Use synonyms
 at home. Which is even more dangerous than taking medicine.
For example
Linking Words
 , during covid-19
people
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 are afraid to go hospital or even visit their usual doctor. Because of
high
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the high
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 cost of
treatments
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.
In other words
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 ,
people
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 assume that taking treatment in
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
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 cause them to
death
Replace the word
die
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , it’s very clear
people
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 are lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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knowledge and not smart enough.
However
Linking Words
 , they thought
treatments
Use synonyms
 at home will cure them completely but it has got
worser
Correct your spelling
worse
 than treatment at
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
 to say , nowadays , folks with physical fitness problems expanding in tremendous ways. In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 it has been believed by numerous
people
Use synonyms
 to take alternative medicines and
treatments
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own , is considered a negative issue. I
strongly be
Change the verb form
will strongly be
strongly am
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 convinced that
doctor
Change noun form
doctor's
show examples
 concern is a must.
Submitted by zahraasmi2001 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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