IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is a growing trend in the world, which is learning a second
language
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 from childhood.
While
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 some scientists believe that it should be started from an early
age
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, others persist on beginning from an older
age
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. In
this
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 ,essay I will discuss why I believe the advantages of beginning from primary
school
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 outweigh the disadvantages. The first advantage is that when a second
language
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 is taught when the child is as young as possible, it is learned better and that child can speak to it like a native. The reason is that neurons which are related to
this
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 new skill can make the best interconnections during childhood.
Thus
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, that baby can demonstrate higher abilities compared to those who have started later.
For example
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, it has been observed that people who have been sent to a bilingual kindergarten spoke better than those who do not.
Moreover
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, in a secondary
school
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 students are usually surrounded by difficult subjects, and they have to spend so much
time
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 doing their homework.
Therefore
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, they can rarely find free
time
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 to study a new
language
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.
For instance
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, a grader has more spare
time
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 compared to a high
school
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 student.
Thus
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, the former can promote its talents by watching cartoons and interacting with others,
while
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 the latter is deprived of that.
However
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, we should consider that at an early
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age
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age,
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 children have to spend their
time
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 playing and we do not have to compel them to try to learn something new. As convincing as
this
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 point is, we can add simple tasks to their indigenous playing medium.
In addition
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, as far as they show participation in these activities we can make it more difficult.
For instance
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, in a primary
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school
Add a comma
school,
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 just those students who show a desire
in learning
Change preposition
to learn
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this
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 new skill will attend those classes. In conclusion, being able to speak another
language
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 is a great advantage. Some believe that it should be started as soon as possible because it is dependent on
age
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 and more simple during early ages.
Moreover
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, in older ages, the adolescent is usually occupied by more essential tasks.
But
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However
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 it has some drawbacks, including interfering with the playing nature of the toddlers. I believe that
such
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 a problem can be handled by having more flexibility in the teaching program.

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a partial response to the prompt by discussing the advantages of starting to learn a second language at a primary school. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the discussion of disadvantages is minimal. The essay should address both advantages and disadvantages and provide a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points and does not provide a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some organizational structure but lacks consistency in the logical development of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and fail to effectively summarize the main points. The essay would benefit from a clearer progression of ideas and improved use of linking words and cohesive devices to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The essay exhibits a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. To improve lexical resource, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary while ensuring that word choice is appropriate and accurate.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures but lacks consistency in demonstrating a wide range of grammatical structures. To enhance grammatical range, strive for more complex sentence structures and varied grammatical forms to convey ideas with greater fluency and accuracy.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Brain plasticity
  • Multicultural awareness
  • Curriculum
  • Globalization
  • Proficiency
  • Linguistic skills
  • Academic performance
  • Mother tongue
  • Bilingualism
  • Foreign language acquisition
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