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Band 6.5

The line graph compares the percentage of people in Africa from 1994 to 2004.

The line graph compares the percentage of people in Africa from 1994 to 2004.
#line #percentage #people #africa
The line graph illustrates the proportion of
telephone
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 in Africa from 1994 to 2004.
It is clear that
 fixed
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 only
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 fluctuation over 10
years
,
however
 mobile
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
grwoth
Correct your spelling
growth
 through the ten examined
years
.
Overall
,these two categories
telephone
Change preposition
of telephone
show examples
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 have the same upward trend. In 1994,mobile
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
subscriber
 is lower than fixed
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 with only 0.06%,and it started
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
grwoth
Correct your spelling
growth
 and has around 0.2% of proportion in fixed
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 in 1997.
Moreover
,it gradually
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 and
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 1% in 1999,
then
 it
continueous
Correct your spelling
continued
increased
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
 and
pass
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 over
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
the percentage
show examples
 of fixed
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 in 2001 with
3
Correct article usage
a 3
show examples
% of
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
show examples
 in mobile
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
.
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,It has dramatically increased over 3
years
 and has 8.8% in 2004.It increased
8.74
Change preposition
by 8.74
show examples
% over 10
years
.
Fixed
Add an article
The fixed
A fixed
show examples
telephone
 is more popular than
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
show examples
telephone
 with 1.7% in 1994,and it has slight growth in these 10 examined
years
.
While
 it got
Add the particle
to pass
show examples
pass
Change the form of the verb
passed
show examples
 over by fixed
telephone
subsribers
Correct your spelling
subscribers
 with 2.9% in 2001,and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
3.1% in 2004.It increased
1.6
Change preposition
by 1.6
show examples
% over 10
years
.
Submitted by goeyqihang on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words telephone, subsribers, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "examined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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