The line graph compares the percentage of people in Africa from 1994 to 2004.

#line #percentage #people #africa

The line graph illustrates the proportion of

telephone

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

in Africa from 1994 to 2004.

It is clear that

fixed

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

only

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

small

Correct article usage

a small

show examples

fluctuation over 10

years

however

mobile

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

significantly

Change the word

significant

show examples

grwoth

Correct your spelling

growth

through the ten examined

years

Overall

,these two categories

telephone

Change preposition

of telephone

show examples

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

have the same upward trend. In 1994,mobile

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

subscriber

is lower than fixed

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

with only 0.06%,and it started

slight

Change the word

slightly

show examples

grwoth

Correct your spelling

growth

and has around 0.2% of proportion in fixed

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

in 1997.

Moreover

,it gradually

growth

Replace the word

grew

show examples

and

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

1% in 1999,

then

continueous

Correct your spelling

continued

increased

Change the verb form

to increase

show examples

and

pass

Wrong verb form

passed

show examples

over

percentage

Add an article

a percentage

the percentage

show examples

of fixed

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

in 2001 with

Correct article usage

a 3

show examples

% of

ration

Correct your spelling

ratio

show examples

in mobile

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

Addtionally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

,It has dramatically increased over 3

years

and has 8.8% in 2004.It increased

8.74

Change preposition

by 8.74

show examples

% over 10

years

Fixed

Add an article

The fixed

A fixed

show examples

telephone

is more popular than

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

show examples

telephone

with 1.7% in 1994,and it has slight growth in these 10 examined

years

While

it got

Add the particle

to pass

show examples

pass

Change the form of the verb

passed

show examples

over by fixed

telephone

subsribers

Correct your spelling

subscribers

with 2.9% in 2001,and

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

3.1% in 2004.It increased

1.6

Change preposition

by 1.6

show examples

% over 10

years

Submitted by goeyqihang on Sat Jul 08 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words telephone, subsribers, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "examined" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph compares the percentage of people in Africa from 1994 to 2004.

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

Living in the countryside is better than living in the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Question F Some feel governments should invest in preserving minority languages, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (Write 250 words.)

what is the causes and effects of water pollution? what are the solutions?

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.