IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Recent developments in technology have made the T.V screen so live that people not need to go for any live performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#developments #technology #v #screen #people #live #performance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I strongly agree, recent development in technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 made the T.Y screen so live that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 need to go for any live performance. As technology like 3D have introduces, T.V
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
 give
vibe
Add an article
the vibe
a vibe
show examples
 that it is really.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if a person thinks of watching a performance that he or she wants to see in another part of the world can see that from any palace. It has become easy to watch a live program like a kids' show, sports, concerts and many more to watch from home.
For example
Linking Words
, if anybody is in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India and
like
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
show examples
 to see live cricket which is in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 US
then
Linking Words
 a person can easily it see.
Secondly
Linking Words
, by watching live that a man can feel it real. Live programs can be watched
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 live TV shows, youtube, and more. There are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
shows which are paid and use live shows. As show are available from any part of the country people does not need to travel from one place to another. On another
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
 there are some shows which do not give live screen facilities which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a disadvantage side. In conclusion, it can be said that to watch a performance it is not access to be there. Live performances can be easy to see from any were. Live TV shows have reduced travelling time and have saved time. By
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live ,programs poor
as well as
Linking Words
 rich people can feel real by seeing it. Watching live shows
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives the vibe of really we are looking
it
Change preposition
at it
show examples
 live.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: