Some people think that companies and private individuals should pay to clean up the pollution that they produce, not the government. To what extent do you agree?

Irrefutably, there has been a rapid increase in
pollution
, globally.
However
, some populaces believe that
factories
and
companies
should give
money
to clean up the
pollution
created by them. I fervently believe that
this
is a sagacious approach if
companies
will pay, there will be less financial burden on the
government
as well as
industries will reduce the amount of
pollution
they create. I shall discuss the same in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are rational contributing factors which are associated with why
factories
and international
companies
should invest in the cost of activities to clean up the air or water
pollution
released by them.
For instance
, countries where corporations pay to clean up contamination are more successful because the
government
can spend more
money
on the
overall
welfare of the people
instead
of spending a hefty amount of
money
on clearing
pollution
. To elaborate, most of the
factories
in Singapore have adopted certain techniques to refine air
pollution
before they allow it to move into an outer atmosphere.
Therefore
,
government
authorities can spend
money
on developing educational and medical facilities for their citizens.
Furthermore
, if international
companies
and
factories
are obliged to clear up impurities emitted by them, eventually the rate of
pollution
in the environment will decline.
For example
, if
companies
will not be financially dependent on the
government
,
then
they will adopt strategies to reduce
pollution
in order to save their own
money
. To be more specific, water
pollution
in Denmark has decreased since
companies
started to pay attention towards clearing water bodies.
Moreover
, the carbon footprint will
also
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
show examples
because
companies
will learn to embrace environmentally friendly techniques or appliances.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that multinational organisations and
factories
should pay bills for cleaning up
pollution
. As it will allow the
government
to indulge
money
for building hospitals,
schools
Correct word choice
and schools
show examples
,
as well as
humanitarian aid organisations.
Also
, environmental
pollution
will diminish because
companies
will move towards reducing the number of harmful gases in the atmosphere to save their own bank balance.
Submitted by varindervarinder1996 on

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task achievement
Your arguments are relevant and well-supported. However, your task response could be improved by addressing opposing viewpoints and providing a balanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is logical and your ideas are well-connected. However, ensure that your introduction and conclusion more explicitly address the essay question and provide a clear overview of your arguments.
lexical resource
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grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors in sentence structure. Aim for more complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word choice.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Polluter Pays Principle
  • corporate accountability
  • economic incentives
  • conscious consumption
  • waste management
  • environmental damage
  • green technologies
  • financial responsibility
  • sustainable practices
  • government funds
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