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Band 3

‘Because so much information is available on the internet today, traditional secondary schools and teachers are no longer necessary.’ Do you agree with this statement?

#‘because #information #internet #schools #teachers
Nowadays, almost everyone has easy access to
internet
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the internet
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 and electronic gadgets,
moreover
, being a
self learner
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self-learner
show examples
 has become a tendency, being the youngsters the most fascinated about using the internet.
However
, I would argue that traditional schooling
,
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apply
show examples
 and
convencional
Correct your spelling
conventional
 teaching
plays
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play
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 a paramount importance in
teenagers
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teenagers'
teenager's
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education
 training.
To begin
 with, it is well known that youngsters can not discriminate rather if the information they gather
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the web
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is safe or not for them.
Aditionally
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Additionally
, lack of self
dicipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 which is normal
between
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for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngster
,
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apply
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could result in a significant drawback, adolescents are not mature enough to set goals in terms self
peaced
Correct your spelling
peace
paced
education
.
Furthernmore
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Furthermore
, to obtain fabulous results in the process of learning, it is needed to follow a determined educational curriculum programme, being the professionals in
education
 the most indicated to provide those resources, to allow the students to achieve higher levels of knowledge. Educational programs should
being
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be
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 advised by pedagogical experts, for that reason conventional school
it
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apply
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is needed. it is of
a
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apply
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paramount importance that the government invest more in traditional ways of teaching.
To sum up
, even if the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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have
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has
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 become the favourite source of learning, conventional
education
 should not
being
Wrong verb form
be
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understimated
Correct your spelling
underestimated
,
due to
 the fact that in schools is where pupils learn how to socialize and make friends, those are skills that are needed in
every day
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everyday
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 life, and the only way to improve them is by sharing time with classmates.
Submitted by marjorie2908 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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