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Band 4

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

#people #difficulty #diet
Nowadays, talking about maintaining a life with
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 diet is very
dificult
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difficult
 and complicated. There are so many options and advertising
as
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is
show examples
 a huge
tamptation
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temptation
. In the same way could have internet influence about issues around it, or,
health
 programs talking about.
Moreover
, the
people
 want to work each day more and more,
forgoting
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forgetting
forgoing
 to take care of themselves. One of the most
pleasure
Fix the agreement mistake
pleasures
show examples
 around us humans is to eat and feel a good
flavor
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flavour
show examples
. When, does not matter where
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 entering
at
Change preposition
apply
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the
groceries
Fix the agreement mistake
grocery
show examples
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance, the most delicious foods are in front
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 door where everybody can see or feel
Add an article
the smell
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smell
Correct pronoun usage
smell them
show examples
.
This
 is a good example of seduction. Another example is the internet advertising or facilities to pick some kind of
food
 or fast
food
 in front of the door. Most of the time at work,
people
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
worry
Wrong verb form
worried
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 about
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
,
speding
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spending
 too much time in front of
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 and
forgoting
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forgot
forgetting
forgoing
 to eat something more healthy, because need to eat fast.
This
 kind of problem
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could be solved if
people
recive
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receive
 more orientation,
atention
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attention
 and care about it.
For instance
, creating programs inside the companies with
littles
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little
show examples
insites
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insights
 of lectures upon
this
 question. It will be a good experience and could
be bring
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bring
show examples
 transformation. In
adition
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addition
, in the same
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of advertising
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet about
food
 not
good
Add a missing verb
being good
show examples
 for
health
, could be some
health
 issues around
this
 type of
food
, or healthy
food
 too, bringing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
another options
Replace the adjective
another option
other options
show examples
. All things considered,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
health
 is very important and eating wrong all the time could be a true problem with illness and sometimes
lost
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
 some days of life.
Submitted by tatianakerches on

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task response
Your essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks clear, comprehensive ideas. The response is incomplete and lacks relevant specific examples. You need to focus on addressing the causes of the problem and proposing solutions as per the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion lack clarity and relevant information. You need to work on organizing your ideas and ensuring a clear introduction and conclusion that are relevant to the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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