IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true

#development #technology #people #st #century #time #prediction
It was a general prediction that the advancement of technologies could allow citizens in the 21st century to enjoy more leisure
time
.
However
, the fast-paced life today indicates
this
 prediction has not come true. Undeniably, with the help of modern technologies, a huge amount of
time
 can be saved both at
work
 and in life. In the factory, the massive application of automation has reduced the
time
 and labour in manufacturing. In the household, the popularization of electric appliances
such
 as washing machines and vacuum cleaners can assist us
to do
Change preposition
in doing
show examples
 all kinds of housework,
while
 in the past these chores were exhausting and
time
-consuming.
However
, many people nowadays do not feel they are relieved;
instead
, they seem to be busier and more stressed than previous generations.
Although
 efficiency has been improved significantly, both white and blue collars are expected to accomplish more in less
time
. In the workplace, employees are under high pressure, worrying that they may be replaced by machines or other competitors. Under
this
 circumstance, no
time
 is left to relax and unwind.
In addition
, technology has blurred the boundary between life and
work
. Most
work
 can be done on computers and smartphones today, which means people may continue to
work
 after they return home.Some employees are required to stay connected with their bosses and colleagues after
work
. Even during a vacation,they may have to set aside a few hours every day to tackle their projects or have video conferences with colleagues. In conclusion, technological advancements have improved efficiency both at home and in the workplace. Unfortunately,
due to
 the stress and the changed mode of
work
, people in today's era do not enjoy more leisure
time
 than before.
Submitted by 76805977 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and supporting details that relate to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Provide further examples and elaboration to fully support the main points.
task achievement
You have provided a complete and clear response to the task. Continue to develop your ideas with specific examples to make your arguments more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: