IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference
Problems
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rising
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global temperatures and health problems had a crucial impact on the relationship with our everyday life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
public institutions started building awareness
over
Change preposition
among
show examples
 their citizen, on how impactful would be a
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
 change for the environment. For
this
 main reason, in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss why I disagree with the statement above.
To begin
 with, mankind cannot think
Itself
Change preposition
of Itself
show examples
 as autonomous from the environment
around
Correct pronoun usage
usaround
show examples
, which means that our actions are tightly related to natural events. As a matter of fact,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted in areas subjected to earthquakes,
such
 as Chile,
Hawai
Correct your spelling
Hawaii
show examples
 or Japan, noticed that the power of these calamities doubled since the beginning of the
50’s
Change noun form
50s
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when governments gave permission to withdraw oil from the soil. Yet, earth shakings would likely increase if members of parliament will keep on permitting
such
 exploitation on behalf of one country’s development. But how can people prove their actions are still valuable to make a change in
this
 current situation? How can a change in our day-to-day life make a difference? The
last
Capitalize word
Last
show examples
 Day Zero in Mexico was an excellent example of it. In fact, in 2013 Mexico City was about to run out of
water
, because of the massive drought of North America’s
water
 sources.
As a consequence
 of overusing and wasting potable
water
, the issue became a matter of millions of Mexicans.
Accordingly
, people started saving
water
, using it just when in need, so that it soon started flowing again,
moreover
 avoiding shortages. Eventually, the examples here provided proved how powerful
individual’s
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals’
show examples
 actions are over government policies, and how impactful these could be for the next generations.
Submitted by aya.kalim228 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
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