the bar graph below shows basic information about usses of leisure time among different age groups.
The bar
chart
illustrates some basic data about different age groups
and how they spend their pastime during the weekend.
The chart
demonstrates,
three age Remove the comma
apply
groups
in horizontal line
and three entertainments usage in minutes per weekend vertically. Fix the agreement mistake
lines
Additionally
, 20-65 years old are
really like to have Change the verb form
is
an active entertainments
like exercising. Correct the article-noun agreement
active entertainment
Moreover
, they have same
use of Add an article
the same
computer
and reading activities, around 30 minutes per Fix the agreement mistake
computers
weekends
. In the Fix the agreement mistake
weekend
teenagers
group, 13-19 years old Replace the word
teenage
people
, they
prefer to spend most of their leisure time in front of the computer which is very harmful Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
their eyes. Change the preposition
to
On the other hand
, they absolutely hate reading books in
that Change preposition
at
ages
and Fix the agreement mistake
age
that is
the least time spent, 5 minute
, in the Change to a plural noun
minutes
chart
. Moreover
, elder people
, like persons who are 66 years old or above, in contrast
with teenagers are really passionate to read different kinds of books at weekends, the chart
depicts that they use at least 1 hour each week. Furthermore
, they are not really keen to work with computers or doing
different sports activities Wrong verb form
do
in
that stage of their life.
Change preposition
at
Overall
, the bar graph shows different data about 3 groups
of people
. Which
can be observed thatCorrect pronoun usage
It
,
Remove the comma
apply
an
adults are the most activated Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
groups
. Although
, the oldest people
are intellectually prepared so they spend most of their time reading. Moreover
, the youngest group are fascinated by technology so they really want to play for example
video games despite of
reading books in their free Change preposition
apply
times
.Fix the agreement mistake
time
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, groups, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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