Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole

In recent

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

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many

scientists

and

tourists

would

perfer

Correct your spelling

prefer

to go to remote areas namely,

South

Correct article usage

the South

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Pole,

Desert

Correct article usage

the Desert

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. In my opinion, the merits of

traveling

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travelling

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

scientists

and

tourists

to remote natural

environments

outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, there are several drawbacks

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show examples

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

scientists

and

tourists

to remote natural

environments

Firstly

, the weather conditions in remote natural

environments

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are

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extremely hot or cold, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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can

makes

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make

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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scientists

and

tourists

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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more likely to develop diseases

such

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apply

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heart attack, cancer, and hypertension.

Secondly

travling

Correct your spelling

travelling

scientists

and

tourists

to remote areas

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

very expensive.

This

is because

traveling

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travelling

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to remote natural

environments

require

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requires

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special equipment, which

this

equipment made from expensive materials.

On the other hand

, I would like to argue that the benefits of

traveling

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travelling

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scientists

and

tourists

to remote

remote

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apply

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natural

environment

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environments

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significantly

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are significantly

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more than

downsides

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the downsides

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. The first advantage,

traveling

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travelling

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to remote natural

environments

can help

tourists

to step out of their comfort zone and discover

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apply

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new places.

Consequently

tourists

will become more confident

as well as

develop skills namely, survival in remote areas.

Secondly

traveling

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travelling

show examples

scientists

to remote natural

environments

such

Correct article usage

the

show examples

South Pole ,

desert

Correct word choice

and desert

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can contribute to

enhance

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enhancing

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environmental

researches

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research

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This

due to

the fact that

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apply

show examples

scientists

can learn more about

causes

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the causes

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of climate change , global warming, extinction of

ainimals

Correct your spelling

animals

For example

scientists

will learn how can protect the

ices

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ice

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

south

Correct article usage

the south

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pole from

melts

Wrong verb form

melting

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to avoid natural disasters

such

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apply

show examples

floods, rising sea levels,

raise

Correct word choice

and raise

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Add an article

the temperature

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temperature

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temperatures

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To sum up

, I believe the upsides of

traveling

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travelling

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

scientists

and

tourists

to remote natural

environments

outweigh the downsides, because it

teaching

Wrong verb form

teaches

show examples

tourists

valuable skills , and boosts the environmental

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

Submitted by faiz3177 on Sun Jul 09 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think travelling abroad is a valuable experience for young people. Others think it wastes too much time and money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?