IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole
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In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 many
scientists
 and
tourists
 would
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to go to remote areas namely,
South
Correct article usage
the South
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 Pole,
Desert
Correct article usage
the Desert
show examples
. In my opinion, the merits of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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scientists
 and
tourists
 to remote natural
environments
 outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, there are several drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists
 and
tourists
 to remote natural
environments
.
Firstly
, the weather conditions in remote natural
environments
is
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are
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 extremely hot or cold, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists
 and
tourists
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more likely to develop diseases
such
 as
,
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apply
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 heart attack, cancer, and hypertension.
Secondly
,
travling
Correct your spelling
travelling
scientists
 and
tourists
 to remote areas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 very expensive.
This
 is because
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 to remote natural
environments
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 special equipment, which
this
 equipment made from expensive materials.
On the other hand
, I would like to argue that the benefits of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
scientists
 and
tourists
 to remote
remote
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apply
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natural
environment
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environments
show examples
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
 more than
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
. The first advantage,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to remote natural
environments
 can help
tourists
 to step out of their comfort zone and discover
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new places.
Consequently
,
tourists
 will become more confident
as well as
 develop skills namely, survival in remote areas.
Secondly
,
traveling
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travelling
show examples
scientists
 to remote natural
environments
such
 as
Correct article usage
the
show examples
South Pole ,
desert
Correct word choice
and desert
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 can contribute to
enhance
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enhancing
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 environmental
researches
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research
show examples
.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
scientists
 can learn more about
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 of climate change , global warming, extinction of
ainimals
Correct your spelling
animals
.
For example
,
scientists
 will learn how can protect the
ices
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ice
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in
Change preposition
at
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south
Correct article usage
the south
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 pole from
melts
Wrong verb form
melting
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 to avoid natural disasters
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 floods, rising sea levels,
raise
Correct word choice
and raise
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Add an article
the temperature
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temperature
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temperatures
show examples
.
To sum up
, I believe the upsides of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists
 and
tourists
 to remote natural
environments
 outweigh the downsides, because it
teaching
Wrong verb form
teaches
show examples
tourists
 valuable skills , and boosts the environmental
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Remote natural environments
  • South Pole
  • Scientists
  • Tourists
  • Climate change
  • Ecosystems
  • Ecotourism
  • Conservation efforts
  • Pollution
  • Delicate ecosystems
  • Safety risks
  • Harsh climate
  • Unique access
  • Invaluable data
  • Local economy
  • Global awareness
  • Scientific advancements
  • Unpredictable climate
  • Financial costs
What to do next:
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