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Band 5.5

The world of work is changing rapidly working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the cause and solution.

#world #work #conditions #people #job #life
These days the trend of changing career is becoming common compared to previous times and most individuals do not carry one work for longtime. The reasons behind
this
 situation are salary and the increased number of employees. The possible solutions are considered well-experienced ones and highly educated people. I am going to elaborate
further
 in
this
 essay below.
To begin
 with, folks are not loyal to their performance these days they are frequently changing their endeavour because with rising inflation everyone wants a good income to fulfil the needs of their loved ones.
Consequently
, they are always in search of a better profession that provides them with facilities and fulfils their demands.
For instance
, there are a number of charted accountants who are doing jobs for various companies so, they are always in search of better pay and allowances and switch their projects whenever they get a good opportunity.
Secondly
, a large number of industries are introducing and hiring the community on a monthly contract so they are free to change it without any stress and get the job easily.
For example
, people who are freelancing can make money online, and there are different types of websites and it is more convenient for humans to do jobs from home
while
 sitting at their own pace. Every lock has its own key
hence
 the possible solution for
this
 is to give assignments only to skilled people who know the task and conditions and how to do it with full devotion
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
give them high wages and facilitate them by providing different allowances like health, transport and many more.
Furthermore
, employees must be certified and qualified
as a result
 of which the company flourishes day by day. In conclusion, many employees are shifting from one company to another just to make themself satisfied with their incomes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
fulfil the basic needs of their families and support them in times of need.
On the contrary
, traders give a chance to degree holders and qualified public
therefore
 can make peace in the market and no one can switch jobs often.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

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task response
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and does not effectively address the prompt. The conclusion needs a clear summary of the main points and a final opinion on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is not well organized, leading to a lack of coherence in the development of ideas. Use clear topic sentences and supporting details to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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