Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples.

#people #live #event #home #television

Nowadays, sporting

events

have become more exciting and be considered as a special

occation

Correct your spelling

occasion

for many people,

while

some prefer to attend and participate in these

events

, others tend to stay home and watch it on

. I would argue that going to a live sporting event is much

interesting

Correct quantifier usage

more interesting

show examples

than watching it on

. In the following

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will elaborate on my viewpoint with relevant examples.

Firstly

, attending live

sports

events

brings happiness and emotions to individuals who like to keep these moments as wonderful memories with their friends and families.

For instance

, I was watching the final football match in our domestic competition when our team won the cup.

However

, we could watch the match on

almost

Correct word choice

and almost

show examples

all

fans

Correct article usage

the fans

show examples

insisted to go and support our team in the stadium, and

as a result

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

we took many live photos to reserve

this

occation

Correct your spelling

occasion

and shared these moments with others. If we have not been there and supported our players at

this

crucial game, they would not have won that day.

Therefore

, going to a live sporting event means a lot to all participants.

Secondly

, those who tend to watch

sports

Add an article

a sports

show examples

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

might be busy

due to

work circumstances so they would watch

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

with their colleagues or

thay

Correct your spelling

they

cannot afford

paying

Change the verb form

to pay

show examples

tickets for these

events

For instance

, some

sports

events

in Egypt are organised by private companies which aim to maximize

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

profits by selling

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

live

sports

events

Change the noun form

event

show examples

tickets at high prices, and as a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

this

, some folk prefer to watch

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

on YouTube.

Additionally

, watching

sports

events

at home could be a chance

Change preposition

for

show examples

some individuals to see each other in a family gathering. In conclusion,

although

attending live

events

sounds more exciting, watching it at home could be much better for some people. If I have the chance I will prefer to go and watch it live.

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Sun Jul 09 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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international sporting events are costly and bring problems to the hosting country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? give specific example.

In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunications. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?