Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples.

#people #live #event #home #television

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Nowadays, sporting

events

Use synonyms

have become more exciting and be considered as a special

occation

Correct your spelling

occasion

for many people,

while

Linking Words

some prefer to attend and participate in these

events

Use synonyms

, others tend to stay home and watch it on

Use synonyms

. I would argue that going to a live sporting event is much

interesting

Correct quantifier usage

more interesting

show examples

than watching it on

Use synonyms

. In the following

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will elaborate on my viewpoint with relevant examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, attending live

sports

Use synonyms

events

Use synonyms

brings happiness and emotions to individuals who like to keep these moments as wonderful memories with their friends and families.

For instance

Linking Words

, I was watching the final football match in our domestic competition when our team won the cup.

However

Linking Words

, we could watch the match on

Use synonyms

almost

Correct word choice

and almost

show examples

all

fans

Correct article usage

the fans

show examples

insisted to go and support our team in the stadium, and

as a result

Linking Words

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

we took many live photos to reserve

this

Linking Words

occation

Correct your spelling

occasion

and shared these moments with others. If we have not been there and supported our players at

this

Linking Words

crucial game, they would not have won that day.

Therefore

Linking Words

, going to a live sporting event means a lot to all participants.

Secondly

Linking Words

, those who tend to watch

Use synonyms

sports

Add an article

a sports

show examples

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

Use synonyms

might be busy

due to

Linking Words

work circumstances so they would watch

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

with their colleagues or

thay

Correct your spelling

they

cannot afford

paying

Change the verb form

to pay

show examples

tickets for these

events

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, some

sports

Use synonyms

events

Use synonyms

in Egypt are organised by private companies which aim to maximize

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

profits by selling

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

live

sports

Use synonyms

events

Change the noun form

event

show examples

tickets at high prices, and as a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

this

Linking Words

, some folk prefer to watch

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

on YouTube.

Additionally

Linking Words

, watching

sports

Use synonyms

events

Use synonyms

at home could be a chance

Change preposition

for

show examples

some individuals to see each other in a family gathering. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

attending live

events

Use synonyms

sounds more exciting, watching it at home could be much better for some people. If I have the chance I will prefer to go and watch it live.

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Sun Jul 09 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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The number of older people is increasing. Some people think this is causing problems in their countries while others feel that older people play an important role in society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many think that all decisions within a company should be made by managers whereas others feel it is better to include employees in the process. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.