IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that a country becomes more interesting and develops faster when its population includes a mixture of different nationalities and cultures. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

If
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
 is often
argue
Wrong verb form
argued
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 that
state
Correct article usage
a state
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 with
people
Use synonyms
 from other
countries
Use synonyms
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 more attractive and develops
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster.
This
Linking Words
 essay will completely agree with the statement. I believe that
foreginers
Correct your spelling
foreigners
 help
countries
Use synonyms
 to develop various sectors and improve impressively.
Nation
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 more interesting when the foreign
culture
Use synonyms
 helps to increase
attention
Add an article
the attention
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 of local
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 suggests that they could be a key point in developing various fields
such
Linking Words
 as entertainment
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 share from other
countries
Use synonyms
 and affect
Use synonyms
nation
Add an article
the nation
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 in a positive way.
One
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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example is
Korea
Use synonyms
. In the past 100 years,
Korea
Use synonyms
 merely considered its own
culture
Use synonyms
 and tried to avoid other traditions from different continents. As time went by, many different
Use synonyms
culture
Change to a plural noun
cultures
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 came to
Korea
Use synonyms
 and developed festivals like Halloween, which is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most popular events in
Korea
Use synonyms
, by introducing these events to local
people
Use synonyms
. And These lead to
industiral
Correct your spelling
industrial
 improvements.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a mixture of nationalities can
also
Linking Words
 improve
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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nation
Use synonyms
 to be more prosperous in industry.
In other words
Linking Words
, the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 immigration and the
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
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 who study abroad cause a strong contribution
in
Change preposition
to
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 that country. China,
one
Use synonyms
 of the major
countries
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 in the world, used to recruit a lot of
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
 talented
people
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 to grow both Information technology and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fame.
As a result
Linking Words
, it worked at all, and
people
Use synonyms
 (especially students studying abroad) from other
countries
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 contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
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 industry. For
this
Linking Words
, "Huawei",
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
one
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 of the most essential
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
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 in China. In conclusion, a mixture of nationalities makes a specific
nation
Use synonyms
 to be more
attrative
Correct your spelling
attractive
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 creating new events and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the country in developing industry
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster as well.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural diversity
  • Innovation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social fabric
  • Heterogeneity
  • Integration
  • Global connections
  • Holistic education
  • National identity
  • Tolerance
  • Heritage
  • Enriches
  • Vibrant
  • Clashes
  • Economic competition
What to do next:
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