IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Scientific developments should always be aligned with and aimed at furthering the quality of human lives. I firmly agree with
this
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 statement,
although
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 for some reason,
this
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 purpose has not always been achieved. Sometimes scientists do research merely in the hope of expanding their knowledge,
whereas
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 the final results have been used for harmful purposes.
Although
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 they attempt their experiments would not harm individuals, they might not realize the consequences until the trials are finished.
For example
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, Albert Einstein developed his famous theory to step forward in atomic physics but was unaware of the outcome to be applied to make a mass destructive bomb. In retrospect, we have
also
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 the scientist Nobel who aimed to serve mining workers by inventing dynamite which was regrettably used as a weapon afterwards. Most undoubtedly, there are firm arguments all of which are concerned with scientific discoveries improving human life. In these fields, the endeavours have solved individuals’ issues from the very beginning unquestionably.
Besides
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, there were aims to create new resources in terms of remarkably improving the lifestyle level.
For instance
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, electricity, and telecommunications are some innovations in
this
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 regard both of which are the outcome of years of experiments by scientists.
Furthermore
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, the Internet, satellites, and smartphones would be named as the most recent ones all of which revolutionized lifestyles unprecedentedly.
To conclude
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, knowledge and discovery have their own ways towards development and scientists are not always able to forecast how their breakthroughs will be used until the work is finalized.
However
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, I strongly believe science should improve the lives of people and that ought to be one of its main purposes.

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task achievement
Try to enhance your argument by including more recent examples or data that demonstrate how science directly improves people's lives. This can strengthen your position and showcase your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are fully developed and explained to give your argument more depth. This might involve linking examples more explicitly to your main argument or providing additional detail where necessary.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs transition smoothly by using linking words or phrases to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a good structure, consider balancing the length of paragraphs for better cohesion. Shorter paragraphs can sometimes disrupt the flow, so aiming for more uniform paragraph lengths may help.
introduction
Your introduction clearly sets out your position and topic, providing a strong starting point for the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your agreement with the statement, bringing the essay to a satisfactory close.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the development of electricity and telecommunications, which are well-integrated into your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically structured and well-supported throughout the essay, showing a clear progression of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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