Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think the education will not work. Disscuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work #disscuss

In recent years, scientists have found a direct correlation between processed

food

and health problems. The study shows a 49

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

increase in hospital admission in the

last

5 years. Some people concur that educating people will have no impact on controlling the situation. I quibble with them and profound that

while

education can help us spread awareness, urge them to choose better in adjunct to other steps.

This

essay with discuss both viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs and conclude. There are several reasons why I assert the importance of education. It should be done at a larger scale with the help of the government to reach a maximum number of people, so we get better outcomes. Spreading awareness about the deleterious impact frozen

food

has on our bodies will force the common man to select healthier options.

For example

- A recent study stated that junk

food

starts a chain of chemical reactions in our brains to choose processed

food

the next time.

On the other hand

, everyone is so occupied catering to their life needs, they don't have the time to think about what's good and what's not.

Also

, not everyone has the money to eat

food

thrice a day leaving aside the healthy option.

Besides

, Canned

food

is readily available in the market.

For example

- if you have a 9-9 job, you tend to eat out there are more processed

food

varieties at an affordable rate. In conclusion,

while

I understand the importance of education but I

also

can't deny the fact that we need to take more steps at a larger scale to reach the general population and bring about a major change.

Submitted by dryukttigupta on Mon Jul 10 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think the education will not work. Disscuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some believe that charitable organisations should help people no matter where they live. Others argue that charities should only help those living in the country where the charity is based. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Once children start school,teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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