The pie chart shows the online sales for retail sectors in Canada in the year 2005 & 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the online sales for retail sectors in Canada in

the year 2005 & 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and

reporting the main features and make comparisons where

relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts compare the
e-
Correct your spelling
e-commerce
commerce
sales
of four retail sectors in Canada in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
2005 & 2010.
Overall
, the proportion of online
sales
for food and beverages and video games increased from 2005 to 2010,
while
the figures for electronics&
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
and home furnishing decreased. In 2005, the percentage of
e-
Correct your spelling
e-commerce
commerce
purchases of food and beverages was 22%, but
this
surged to 32% in 2010.
In addition
, the proportion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
internet
sales
of video games slightly increased from 18% to 23% in 2005 and 2010 respectively.
Moreover
, the percentage of online
sales
of Home Furnishings was 25% in 2005,
whereas
this
figure dropped dramatically to 15% in 2010.
Similarly
, there was a slight dip in the
e
Add a hyphen
e-commerce
show examples
commerce
sales
of
Electronics
Correct article usage
the Electronics
show examples
& Appliance sector, which dropped from 35% in 2005 to 30% in 2010. In conclusion, the proportion of online
sales
of Electronic& Appliance and Home Furnishings declined from 2005 to 2010.
In contrast
, the
Correct your spelling
e-commerce
e-
Correct your spelling
e-commerce
show examples
commerce
sales
of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two sectors amplified in 2010 than 2005
Submitted by naveennaga1108 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words commerce, sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: