ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

People have different views about whether or not

someone

achieves their aims

is

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

mostly by a question of luck. To my way of thinking,

someone

achieves their aims mainly related to their hard-working and

talent

. In

this

essay,

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

will discuss both views and give some reasons.

To begin

with, hard-working is the key determinant of

someone

achieves

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

their aims. To work out something, you always need to pay a lot of time and energy.

For example

, if you want to learn a new language, you should spend

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

time on vocabulary,grammar,writing and speaking. All

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

four parts need practice for a long time.

Therefore

, to master a language, hard-working is necessary.

In addition

,

talent

is

also

a very important factor in

someone

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

their aims. A man with

a

Remove the article

apply

show examples

high

talent

in one field can understand the theory and overcome problems more quakily than

someone

don'

Change the verb form

doesn't

show examples

t

have

talent

in

this

field.

For example

, go is traditional chess which

popular

Add a missing verb

is popular

show examples

in east

asia

Change the capitalization

Asia

show examples

, a famous go-player called

shin-jinseo

Change the capitalization

Shin-jinseo

show examples

didn'

t

have a high-level teacher when he study go, but he depends on his

talent

and deep understanding of ai to achieve many world champions in

this

sport. By

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contrast, every year there are many people study go in

east

Capitalize word

East

show examples

Asia and some of them have world-champion teachers to teach them, but they don'

t

achieve good results. Admittedly, luck, to some extent, is

also

a

Change the article

an

show examples

important factor for

someone

achieve

Fix the infinitive

to achieve

show examples

their aims.

For example

, you need to join an exam but

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

show examples

you occurred

a

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

severe

Change the word

severely

show examples

ill before the exam, you can'

t

keep a good condition during the exam and are unable to perform to your original level.

To conclude

,

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

concede that luck

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a

Change the article

an

show examples

important role in

someone

achieve their aims.

Nevertheless

,

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

am convinced that hard-working and

talent

are the more important factors in

someone

's achievement

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

aims.