ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

People have different views about whether or not

someone

Use synonyms

achieves their aims

is

Unnecessary verb

apply

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mostly by a question of luck. To my way of thinking,

someone

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achieves their aims mainly related to their hard-working and

talent

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

i

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I

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will discuss both views and give some reasons.

To begin

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with, hard-working is the key determinant of

someone

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achieves

Wrong verb form

achieving

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their aims. To work out something, you always need to pay a lot of time and energy.

For example

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, if you want to learn a new language, you should spend

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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time on vocabulary,grammar,writing and speaking. All

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

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four parts need practice for a long time.

Therefore

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, to master a language, hard-working is necessary.

In addition

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,

talent

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is

also

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a very important factor in

someone

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achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

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their aims. A man with

a

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apply

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high

talent

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in one field can understand the theory and overcome problems more quakily than

someone

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don'

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doesn't

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t

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have

talent

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in

this

Linking Words

field.

For example

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, go is traditional chess which

popular

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is popular

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in east

asia

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Asia

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, a famous go-player called

shin-jinseo

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Shin-jinseo

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didn'

t

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have a high-level teacher when he study go, but he depends on his

talent

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and deep understanding of ai to achieve many world champions in

this

Linking Words

sport. By

the

Correct article usage

apply

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contrast, every year there are many people study go in

east

Capitalize word

East

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Asia and some of them have world-champion teachers to teach them, but they don'

t

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achieve good results. Admittedly, luck, to some extent, is

also

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a

Change the article

an

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important factor for

someone

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achieve

Fix the infinitive

to achieve

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their aims.

For example

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, you need to join an exam but

unfortunately

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,unfortunately

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you occurred

a

Correct article usage

apply

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severe

Change the word

severely

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ill before the exam, you can'

t

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keep a good condition during the exam and are unable to perform to your original level.

To conclude

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,

i

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I

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concede that luck

play

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plays

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a

Change the article

an

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important role in

someone

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achieve their aims.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

,

i

Change the capitalization

I

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am convinced that hard-working and

talent

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are the more important factors in

someone

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's achievement

their

Change preposition

of their

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aims.