The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organizations #outweigh

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent days, large internet corporations and institutions

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

owning

Wrong verb form

owned

show examples

individuals' private

data

Use synonyms

. I believe

this

Linking Words

condition creates more disadvantages compared to the advantages. First of all, the positive points that we have if our info is being stored by organisations and internet companies are,

Correct word choice

that it

show examples

is easier to proceed with administration tasks

such

Linking Words

as making identity cards or passports, opening a bank account or simply just buying some stuff online.

However

Linking Words

, the probability of being hacked will

be causing

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

a bigger risk of

data

Use synonyms

leaks by the company.

This

Linking Words

situation usually caused by the companies who

owned

Wrong verb form

own

show examples

our

data

Use synonyms

are not securing the

data

Use synonyms

properly.

For example

Linking Words

, a big company like Facebook

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

experienced their user's

data

Use synonyms

leaking several times. The

data

Use synonyms

was

then

Linking Words

sold anonymously in a black market at a very expensive price.

Hence

Linking Words

, people whose

data

Use synonyms

are scattered more often will receive spam on their mobile phones or emails.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in the era of social media, people

also

Linking Words

will experience more cybercrime cases especially when it is not only personal information provided but

also

Linking Words

combined with their photo. The perpetrators will use all of

this

Linking Words

advice to start profiling their victims.

For example

Linking Words

, sexual harassment through social media is rising recently and the perpetrators are very professional and make their victims believe in them because they know all of their information.

Then

Linking Words

, it is important to keep your account private and not trust people that you meet through social media easily. In conclusion, even though it is efficient for us to have our

data

Use synonyms

stored by some corporations or institutions, the chance of being a victim of cyber crimes is bigger than merely being efficient.

Submitted by Parayogi on Mon Jul 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction could be improved by clearly stating the opinion on the topic.

task achievement

The main points need to be more clearly developed and supported with relevant examples.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

279 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home beause of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in different culture.
The debate surrounding whether it is beneficial for students to pursue their tertiary educational level overseas or not has sparked considerable controversy. While this notion brings mere drawbacks, it also offers substantial perks to them due to the reasons this essay further elaborates on.
7
band
The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle this.
In this ultra-modern world, wealthy people's level of life has a lot of differences from poor people and it is increasing over time. There are various factors that contribute to this problem; Therefore, this essay will provide some reasons and effective solutions.
5.5
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
People are often encouraged to learn. Some believe that individuals can aquire more learning values from their colleagues and classmates as compared to their managers or professors. However, I fully disagree with this context and rather push people to learn from a person who is at higher position.
6
band
Investor are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do yo agree with this statement? Give reason and include any relevant example based on your own knowlegde.
Most people think that doctors are more essential than investors, but I think both of them are equally important because we need investors to develop our country, and doctors are needed to keep our health.
4
band
In some countries fast food restaurants and supermakets give money to schools to promote their products. do you think this is a positive or negative development ?
Many nations fast food restaurants and supermarket give advertising to nearly schools to promote their products. Overall, this essay will express the con about the impacts of fast food restaurants and supermarkets give discount to school such as expansion mental issue and reducing behaviour of saving.

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home beause of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in different culture.

The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle this.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Investor are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do yo agree with this statement? Give reason and include any relevant example based on your own knowlegde.

In some countries fast food restaurants and supermakets give money to schools to promote their products. do you think this is a positive or negative development ?