IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You want to learn a language. There is a teacher near to where you live. Write a letter to the teacher. In the letter: say how you came to know about him/her explain why you want to learn ask what help they can offer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr Johns Hopkins,    I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to get additional information about an
English
Use synonyms
 learning
course
Use synonyms
 which I heard from my colleague who has recently finished his
English
Use synonyms
course
Use synonyms
 in your
English
Use synonyms
 Educational
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. He said that he attended your
English
Use synonyms
course
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 6 months from January to June, and he told me the
course
Use synonyms
 is organised
as well as
Linking Words
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
, especially for adult learners. And during that
Use synonyms
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 he could achieve all
his
Change the word
the
show examples
English
Use synonyms
 skills
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he wanted. And got
C1
Correct article usage
a C1
show examples
level
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
English
Use synonyms
exam
Use synonyms
.       Currently, I am working a full-time job at the local hospital. My working day lasts from 8am to 4pm. I have planned to learn
English
Use synonyms
 and take an
Use synonyms
English
Add a hyphen
English-level
show examples
level
Use synonyms
exam
Use synonyms
.
And
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I must learn
English
Use synonyms
 deeply for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
four skills listening, reading, writing and speaking. And in my free time after
work
Add a comma
work,
show examples
 I would like to attend your
English
Use synonyms
course
Use synonyms
. I have learnt
English
Use synonyms
 at school, but my
English
Use synonyms
 knowledge now is not enough to take the language
level
Use synonyms
exam
Use synonyms
.     I would like to know some information about attending your courses. When do you organise the next new class, and how can I join
this
Linking Words
 class? Should I take the entrance
level
Use synonyms
exam
Use synonyms
 for it, or does
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 start without an
exam
Use synonyms
? How many days are classes a week and will they be after 4 pm? How much does it cost per month? Can I pay for lessons by card?    I would like to hire you as soon as possible.    Yours sincerely,  Mr. Patell

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to vary sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. There are several sentences that start with 'And,' which can often be combined or rephrased for better flow.
task achievement
Consider proofreading for minor grammatical errors, such as 'English Educational center' which should be 'English educational center,' and 'hire you' which should be 'attend your courses.'
task achievement
You provided a complete response, addressing all the points asked in the prompt. This shows that you understood the task well.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are properly formatted and polite, which is suitable for this type of letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contains a single idea and the ideas are logically sequenced, making the letter easy to follow.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: