IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think watching movies is waste of time do you agree or disagree.

#people #movies #waste #time
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A few
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
movies
Use synonyms
 are a total waste of time. I partially agree with the statement because
people
Use synonyms
 can learn many things from the videos.
While
Linking Words
 some content of
movies
Use synonyms
 can be dangerous for the human mind. These days, filmmakers make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very bad
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
show examples
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can hurt human nature and
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in action
movies
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged
show examples
 to do criminal activities.
As well as
Linking Words
 horror
movies
Use synonyms
 can affect the human brain in a very wrong way.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, generally,
people
Use synonyms
 pay too much money for film tickets and can not get good
movies
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 recent research maximum
movies
Use synonyms
 are not suitable for children.
Besides
Linking Words
 the drawbacks, there are some advantages, many
movies
Use synonyms
 are inspiring,
for instance
Linking Words
, sports
movies
Use synonyms
 which can goosebumps for
people
Use synonyms
 to join a gym or any other physical activities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a few
movies
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 are a source of knowledge
people
Use synonyms
 can get plenty of knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
,
movies
Use synonyms
 related to space research
this
Linking Words
 types of
movies
Use synonyms
 give information about new technology.
Consequently
Linking Words
, nowadays everyone is living
stressful
Correct article usage
a stressful
show examples
 life with their job so
movies
Use synonyms
 can help them to feel relaxed. There are different types of
movies
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as entertainment, comedy, and romantic which can help
people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stay burden-free life.
Movies
Use synonyms
 become a part of life some
movies
Use synonyms
 are a source of knowledge regarding the new sector.
To conclude
Linking Words
, films have both sides worth watching or a waste of time. It depends on a person what kind of
movies
Use synonyms
 they like comedy, inspiring or horror, action
Submitted by paramravalia24 on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt and provides some relevant examples, but the response lacks a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic introduction and conclusion, but the lack of clear organization hinders coherence and cohesion. More explicit use of linking words and better paragraph structure are needed.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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