Some people find it beneficial to send young children to nursery school before they go to primary school, while others think that it is good to keep them at home and spend time with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Education plays an important role in human development and the process. Most individuals are in favour that toddlers should be sent to elementary academies at an early age
whereas
, many think that it's the best era when juveniles learn a lot from their surroundings.
Consequently
, it is best for them to spend that
time
under their parent's observations and gain knowledge from them.
However
, In my opinion, it's good for them to spend that stage in
institute
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the institute
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. I will discuss both aspects in
this
essay below.
To begin
with, school is the place where young ones not only focus on their studies but
also
learn how to behave with others in a good manner.
Therefore
, they come to learn a variety of things under the supervision of a teacher which boosts their confidence to do things alone
hence
this
thing helps them a lot when they grow old they have developed a strong power to do any
sought
Correct your spelling
sort
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of mission without hesitation.
For example
, most working women admit their peers to school at a young age and it is noticed that these are the one who turns out to be self-made when
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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old and
also
know what to do and when to do it in
time
. On the flip side, there is a community that says that
its
Correct your spelling
it is
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better for them to spend
time
with their guardians because at that age children are developing a sense to pick between right and wrong
also
at that
time
most of the kids are mischievous and make certain attempts on the things that are harmful to them so they must be under the strict eye at a moment to keep them safe from certain happen.
For instance
, most Asian countries
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
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that it is best to spend most of the
time
at home so they can teach them about the best and worst and
says
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say
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that it's the point which they can spend without taking tension. In conclusion,
although
both sides have their own pros and cons sending their daughter and sons early to school enhances their learning capabilities
as well as
their behavior management in a good way so they become a good citizen when growing old.
In addition
, if they spend most of their
time
at home they get spoiled and become stubborn so in my view it's better to send them to the early education system to groom them in a better way.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and addresses both views. However, it would benefit from more specific and diverse examples to support your arguments. Including statistical data or anecdotes could strengthen your standpoint.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas within paragraphs are clearly connected. Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
complete response
You successfully discuss both sides of the argument and provide your own opinion, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
logical structure
Your essay shows a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • early socialization
  • interaction with peers
  • social skills
  • structured environment
  • basic academic concepts
  • smooth transition
  • professionally trained
  • developmental issues
  • targeted interventions
  • family bonding
  • emotional relationships
  • tailor activities
  • personalized approach
  • less stressful
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • nursery school
  • primary school
  • family unit
  • early childhood education
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