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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Many
children
 consume hours on their smartphones
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every day because many
children
 do not have good communication, especially,
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 parents and peers.
In addition
, they do not
successful
Replace the word
successfully
show examples
 deal with their own problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 economics, school and plans which are of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
Therefore
, they choose one specific strategy: the escape. The
smartphone
 is useful
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
 to escape problems that’s why more than more
children
 used up their
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 smartphones.
As a result
 of these, many
children
 experience mental disorders
such
 as depression or anxiety.
That is
 because it can be obviously said that the more
children
 use
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 the more they have problems. As seen
the
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in the
show examples
 aforementioned,
this
development
 is worse than everything.
Firstly
, as the use
time
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smartphones is increasing, many
children
addict
Add a missing verb
are addict
show examples
 to them.
Thus
, a significant proportion of their
time
waste
Add a missing verb
is waste
show examples
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
.
However
,
children
 have to utilize efficiently their
time
 because
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 responsibilities of them depend on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
. To exemplify, İf
children
 do not get ready
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 an exam
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
show examples
time
, their one year’s
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
. That’s why we say that
this
development
 has a great affected on their future, without
doubt
Add an article
a doubt
show examples
.
Secondly
,
this
development
 influences badly on their mental health because they become to suffer from depression and anxiety etc. İt is crucial because if
this
 happens, they ought to be used some medical pills. Their pupil periods are most important to biology
development
 but many pills have
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
 side-effect on
this
 period. That’s why, if they may be becoming healthy, but they have lasting effects.
To conclude
, the overuse of
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 is a negative
development
. It influences not only their future but
also
 their health.
Submitted by eerkare on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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