Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#believe #olympic #games #people #nations #olympics #wastes #money

Many today have made a controversial debate that the

Olympics

competition gives a chance for citizens around the world to come closer,

while

some think that it is a waste of budget on other significant spending.

Although

holding the

Olympics

might ask for more

money

than others, I believe that it benefits the connection between

countries

. Some argue that the

Olympics

activity is a means of wasteful

money

instead

of other essential things because it requires more

money

than others.

This

means that organizing the game has always asked for various types of

money

from

superior

Correct article usage

a superior

show examples

stadium to a large number of

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

to meet the needs of massive audiences,

while

other important issues might need less amount of

money

such

as health services for residents in their own

countries

For instance

, it is reported that not every nation can afford the huge budget on taking

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

for the

Olympics

even though they are desiring to do so.

Instead

, just some certain developed nations are having sufficient

money

Change preposition

for

show examples

it. Despite

this

, I would argue that holding the Olympic activities brings people

come

Add the particle

to come

show examples

closer.

It is clear that

organizing the

Olympics

is one of the most effective ways to connect

countries

over the world.

This

is because the activity is an influential event with a well-known reputation, which so many

countries

would love to participate in.

As a result

this

is a precious opportunity to explore the world because everyone converges in a particular host nation. As

such

, the

Olympics

can be a bridge between nations to enter into economic

negotiation

Fix the agreement mistake

negotiations

show examples

or even political issues. Taking everything into consideration, though being in charge of holding the

Olympics

might be wasteful when it comes to

money

, I believe that it is a great chance to meet people from many nations.

Submitted by anhnhi.bell on Tue Jul 11 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this is happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, this is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes and suggest at least one possible solution.

Some people are leaving the countryside to live in the cities and the town, leaving only the old people in the countryside. What problem are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this problem?