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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The presented line graph illustrates the number of passengers travelling differents types of vehicles such as cars, trains and buses on a daily basis from 1970 to 2030.

The presented line graph illustrates the number of passengers travelling differents types of vehicles such as cars, trains and buses on a daily basis from 1970 to 2030.
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Presented line graph depicts information regarding amount (measured in millions of consumers) of vehicles which is devided on 3 different types:
cars
Use synonyms
,
buses
Use synonyms
 and trains. Graphic
also
Linking Words
 shows period from 1970 to 2030, what means that it contains a forecast. The first thing which should be mentioned is that amount of
cars
Use synonyms
, logically, exeeds other 2 types of vehicles in every decade. At the same time the number of trains and
buses
Use synonyms
 stays unstable and they change one another. Considering all details, it can be said taht during 40 years, from 1970 to 2020,
cars
Use synonyms
 have been raising (almost) smoothly: The maximum happened in 2000,
then
Linking Words
 in 2020.
Further
Linking Words
, presented forecast demonstrates rapid growth in
this
Linking Words
 decade. So,
cars
Use synonyms
 will stay at the leading position by using.
Also
Linking Words
,
buses
Use synonyms
 persent some smooth deacrising every decade from the very beginning and prediction
also
Linking Words
 confirms
this
Linking Words
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, amount of trains shows unsignificant growth with unchangable "plato" in 2000-2010 years. But, according the forecast, there
on the contrary
Linking Words
, will be sharp raising as
buses
Use synonyms
 will have. Concluding information it can be said that the numbers of different types of vehicles is absolutelly different and there will be some shifting in the future.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, buses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "presented" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 2 times.
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