Some people think it is harmful for people to watch advertisements, others think it improves our lives. Discuss both views and give your own.
Some individuals believe that it is detrimental for
people
to watch Use synonyms
adds
, others think it improves our way of living. Correct your spelling
ads
While
some Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
adds
improve our lives, I believe it is destructive for citizens to watch Correct your spelling
ads
advertisements
because they are intrusive Use synonyms
that
distract and the information describing a Correct word choice
and
product
is Use synonyms
bias
.
On the one hand, many adults believe that Wrong verb form
biased
adds
help Correct your spelling
ads
people
to have a better Use synonyms
live
because they inform Replace the word
life
people
on several items. Use synonyms
Firstly
, they believe that Linking Words
adds
give details on Correct your spelling
ads
Use synonyms
product
that help them to Fix the agreement mistake
products
decided
which item to buy. Wrong verb form
decide
Secondly
, if Linking Words
people
do not know which Use synonyms
product
is the best, there are Use synonyms
hundred
of Correct your spelling
hundreds
advertisements
telling Use synonyms
people
what item is better for different Use synonyms
circunstance
. Correct your spelling
circumstances
circumstance
Moreover
, they provided entities that have done Linking Words
a
research to inform Correct article usage
apply
people
which Use synonyms
product
is one of the best, so consumers feel they will have the most for their money. Use synonyms
For instance
, Honda company made Linking Words
adds
telling customers that for midsize families the best car is the Honda Accord based on hundreds of Correct your spelling
ads
people
's comments. Use synonyms
However
, I believe Linking Words
this
add it is not reliable because it is supported Linking Words
their
own brand and Change preposition
by their
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
people
to buy their cars.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it is totally annoying having intrusive Linking Words
adds
that pop up Correct your spelling
ads
in
Change preposition
on
people
's Use synonyms
TV
without permission, so they lose focus on what they Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
were
doingWrong verb form
are
it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Also
, it is disturbing watching Linking Words
adds
that Correct your spelling
ads
people
are not interested in, so many Use synonyms
people
use Use synonyms
adds
to run to the bathroom or grab food from the kitchen. Another thing is that most of these Correct your spelling
ads
adds
are not telling the Correct your spelling
ads
true
because they Replace the word
truth
are bias
, and these Change the verb form
are biased
advertisements
alter their real products to convince Use synonyms
people
to buy. To illustrate my point, Use synonyms
McDonalds's
hamburgers appear Change to a genitive case
McDonald's's
deliciousn
Correct your spelling
delicious
deliciousness
on
the Change preposition
in
adds
because they paint the ingredients and add chemicals to improve their appearance in order to have a great picture, Correct your spelling
ads
Linking Words
however
in reality, Add a comma
however,
people
are never going to have an appealing and tasty hamburger Use synonyms
like
they offer on the adds. I believe Replace the word
as
this
is annoying for Linking Words
people
watching alter Use synonyms
adds
and not giving Correct your spelling
ads
a
authentic picture of their products it is a way of Change the article
an
lyign
to them.
Correct your spelling
lying
To conclude
, Linking Words
although
many Linking Words
people
believe that Use synonyms
advertisements
Use synonyms
some how
improve Correct your spelling
somehow
people
's Use synonyms
life
, I believe the Fix the agreement mistake
lives
adds
are annoying because they Correct your spelling
ads
appears
without wanting them, so they are very annoying and Change the verb form
appear
people
lose focus on the real goal. Making things worse, many Use synonyms
adds
are fake. In the future,Correct your spelling
ads
adds
might have regulations to avoid intrusive Correct your spelling
ads
adds
and Correct your spelling
ads
finally
Linking Words
people
might enjoy what they Use synonyms
realy
want to see.Correct your spelling
really
Submitted by cuevas14dic on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a degree of logical structure, but there are issues with paragraph organization and progression of ideas which can be confusing for the reader. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with subsequent sentences that expand, support, or exemplify that main point.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened. The thesis statement in the introduction should clearly outline the main points to be discussed. The conclusion should succinctly summarize these points and restate your opinion without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported to an extent, but you should aim to provide more detailed explanations and develop your argument further. Including additional examples from trustworthy sources could strengthen the support of your points.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task; however, the balance between the discussion of both views and the expression of your own opinion could be improved. Ensure that you spend sufficient time discussing both sides of the argument before introducing your viewpoint to fulfill the requirement of the task completely.
task achievement
The clarity of your ideas could be improved. Work on expressing your thoughts more concisely and using a variety of sentence structures. Be cautious of spelling and grammar errors, as they can distract from the comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples, which is good, but they feel anecdotal and lack depth. To achieve a higher score, incorporate specific examples that are detailed and clearly connected to the main points. Additionally, ensure the examples provided are accurate and reflect real-life scenarios.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.