IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy food and drinks to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s society, unhealthy cooking and sugary drinks have become more popular and widely available than ever before. Some believe that the government should place higher taxes on these products to promote better eating habits. I completely agree with
this
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 idea because it can reduce overconsumption and help fund public health efforts. One main reason why I support
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 policy is that higher prices can reduce the amount of unhealthy cuisine people buy. When the cost of items like soft drinks, fast food, and snacks increases, many people—especially young people or those with limited budgets—may choose healthier and more affordable options.
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, in some countries where a sugar tax has been introduced, soft drink and sugary snack sales have dropped significantly.
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 shows that price can influence people’s eating behaviour in a positive way. Another reason is that the money collected from these taxes could be used to improve public well-being.
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 is because the government can spend the extra funds on education campaigns about nutrition, or provide free health services for those who suffer from obesity or diabetes. A good example of
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 can be seen in Mexico and Japan, where revenue from the sugar tax has been used to build clean water fountains in schools and promote healthy lifestyles among children. In conclusion, I believe that taxing unhealthy meals and drinks is a smart and effective step for the government to take. It not only discourages people from eating harmful products but
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 helps support long-term well-being programs for society.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea.
task achievement
Include a brief summary or restatement of your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your arguments.
task achievement
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline your stance.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your points, particularly from other countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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