IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The three pie charts illustrate the changes in annual spending by local government in Someland in three different year

The three pie charts illustrate the changes in annual spending by local government in Someland in three different year
#three #changes #government #someland #year
The three pie charts illustrate the changes in annual spending by
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 government in Someland in three different
years
.
Overall
, it is obvious that
Higher
Correct article usage
the Higher
show examples
Education
 sector had the majority of stats percentage in all
years
. As can be seen in the charts, Environmental services and Other sectors didn't even go beyond 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.In 1980 Higher and K-12 Educational parts were financially supported more than all remaining services.These two groups created over half of the whole outcome(60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 4 sectors made respectively two out of five (40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).If we look at stats which were made ten
years
 later (1990), it becomes clear that
Higher
Correct article usage
the Higher
show examples
Education
 segment was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 its peak.It created almost half of all expenditures.It is worth noting that K-12
Education
 and Health and human resources had the same sum.
According to
 the third chart, it appears to be slightly different. We can realise that
K-12
Correct article usage
the K-12
show examples
 sector
degradated
Correct your spelling
degraded
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 the Transportation service tripled its percentage after 10
years
.In
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 century (2000),
Transportation
Correct article usage
the Transportation
show examples
 sector placed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
2nd
Correct article usage
the 2nd
show examples
 position with 22
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 and
together with
 Higher
Education
 these services
totaled
Change the spelling
totalled
show examples
 over 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of all money
spendings
Replace the word
spent
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, education, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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