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Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other believe that some infornation is too important or to valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

#people #information #research #business #world #infornation
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In real life,
people
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 have to communicate with
people
Use synonyms
 about their daily issues
such
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 as families, businesses and education. Some
people
Use synonyms
 love to
share
Use synonyms
 their information
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
others
show examples
,
although
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 neglect to do so.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain both sides of the argument and try to draw some
conclusion
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusions
show examples
.
Firstly
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, as most
people
Use synonyms
 accept the saying
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
“sharing is caring”, they love to
share
Use synonyms
 the information as much as possible. In
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
 team, the boss
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to
share
Use synonyms
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 company’s
vissions
Correct your spelling
visions
vision
, missions, skills, weakness and other many things
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 his team to improve their profile of the company.
Next,
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if scientists have a problem in their research, they discuss several solutions of thinking by sharing various sources from different brains.
By looking
Change preposition
Looking
show examples
 at the academic world, students used to friend with their classmates by sharing their study tips and assisting each other
then
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 they get their goals together and become
best
Add an article
the best
a best
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 for their future.
On the other hand
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is dangerous to
share
Use synonyms
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 because they might step on you when they do not need you. They point out
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 common case in scientific research is that one
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
Change preposition
in other
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
showing how his achievement and the other do the same research and publish
first
Correct pronoun usage
it first
show examples
 by his own name.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, in
role
Add an article
the role
show examples
 of
reseller
Correct article usage
a reseller
show examples
, they have to cover
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who is
supplier
Correct article usage
the supplier
show examples
, how they get
Add an article
the whole
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whole sale
Correct your spelling
wholesale
show examples
 price and how they manage to carry items to succeed their competitors. Some
students
Add a verb
arestudents
werestudents
show examples
also
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 afraid to
share
Use synonyms
 the data
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
due to
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 they might get better scores than her. In conclusion, I believe that sharing can bring
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
benefit
for
Change preposition
to
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 all of us. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 developing our world is working together, trusting each other by learning mutually. Ocean water will not finish up even if everybody
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
use
Correct pronoun usage
ituse
show examples
.
Therefore
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, I suggest that
people
Use synonyms
 should not be afraid to
share
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Chit Tone Lay on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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