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Band 3.5

It is believed that women are more suited to child-rearing than men. What is your opinion on this issue?

#women #men
In the modern world, most women workers are preferred that their child-rearing by
ladies
 rather than
men
, I completely agree with
this
 statement and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will be discussing the cause behind my choice in the following paragraph.
Overall
, taking care of kids is not an easy job and required a lot of knowledge and experience in how to deal with it.
For instance
, the new baby born has different needs
such
 as feeding time, sleeping hours and type of clothes they have to ware,
whereas
 the one-year-old to three years old are required more moral activities, playing areas and toys in order to improve their learning skills.
As a result
, the skillset which most of the
ladies
 are gaining much better than
men
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it comes to child-rearing,
therefore
 we can see that most of the workers in the nursery Or kids areas
such
 as the shopping centre are
ladies
.
On the other hand
, women are more patient than
men
 in
this
 type of work ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 the
ladies
' capabilities of dealing with different ages are more controlled by them as a multi multi-tasking human
manmen
Correct your spelling
man men
 will have some limlimitationsdinling with more than one task at work. In summary, women are more suited to taking care of kids during their journey and on top of that they can be more responsible than
men
.
Submitted by yassinm1211 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • child-rearing
  • caregiver
  • social constructs
  • nurturing
  • gender roles
  • stereotypes
  • paternity leave
  • co-parenting
  • development
  • economic pressures
  • primary caregiver
  • gender biases
  • fluidity of roles
  • societal norms
  • inherent differences
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