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Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#scientists #future #cars #computers #people #development
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According to
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 scientists’ prediction, in the near future, computers will replace the role of car
drivers
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and drawbacks of
this
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 viewpoint and my personal perspective will be illustrated in the conclusion. On the one hand, there are some detrimental flaws that are found in trials for artificial intelligent
drivers
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.
To begin
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 with, those mechanical ones cannot adapt to all-terrain, especially with quickly changing environments.
For example
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, they cannot process how to deal with some types of extreme weather
such
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 as sudden storms.
Subsequently
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, those programmed
drivers
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 might be attacked by hackers who have bad intentions.
For instance
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, they can reprogram all the auto-driving vehicles and cause a detrimental
accident
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.
On the other hand
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, it is obvious that computer
drivers
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 have their benefits.
Firstly
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, they can significantly decrease the number of
accident
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 cases that relate to roads. It is said that ninety per cent of route
accident
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 cases involve human factors.
Secondly
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, those kinds of vehicles can allow
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are not qualified
for driving
Change preposition
to drive
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such
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 as the elderly or disabled
people
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 to go out on their own.
For example
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,
people
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 who are mobile disabled now can go sightseeing without the aid of others
such
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 as nurses and staff. In conclusion,
although
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 there are negative impacts related to safety
such
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 as the adaptation before sudden changes and the protection from hackers’ attacks, the advantages of artificial intelligent
drivers
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 including decreasing
accident
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 numbers and allowing a more varied range of
people
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 to go out outweigh their consequences
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and completeness.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in the response. It also needs more comprehensive ideas to fully address the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Sensors
  • Collision avoidance
  • Alleviate
  • Accidents
  • Efficiency
  • Environmental impact
  • Unemployment
  • Freedom of choice
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