Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #shops #food #drink #effects #health #disagree？

Nowadays, with the development of the economy and science,

people

no longer suffer from hunger,

instead

, we gradually have more

food

and beverages to select from.

However

due to

the bad effects of some

food

or drink that has been scientifically proven, some

people

believe that shops should stop selling

this

kind of stuff,

while

others hold the opposite opinion. On the one hand, it is an undeniable fact that ordinary

people

have more choices when they go to the supermarket for groceries than before.

For example

, a housewife pushes the shopping cart into a department store and buys

food

and household goods for her family, which may include different soda water, fresh seafood,

as well as

the candies that her children love most. Modern technology enriched

people

's lives dramatically.

On the other hand

, the same scenario may happen in the same family, but with a totally different outcome.

For example

, if the kids eat too many candies or soda, that will damage their teeth, or if the husband in that family is a smoking person, too many cigarettes may

also

affect the health condition of all the family members in that house. In

this

case, candy and

cigarette

Fix the agreement mistake

cigarettes

show examples

should not be allowed to sell.

Change preposition

From

show examples

my perspective, I totally do not agree that we should abandon

food

that may affect our health, even though

these

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

were scientifically approved, because

this

kind of merchandise normally helps us to release dopamine, which increases our sense of happiness, and appropriate consuming will not affect our health much. In conclusion, regardless of the side effect of some goods, they still contribute to the happiness of humans, but we should be aware of not over-using them, only in

this

way, we can maintain our well been

as well as

be happy.

Submitted by leejingsong0808 on Tue Jul 11 2023

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
scientifically proven
personal freedom
individual choices
healthcare costs
economic impact
consumer empowerment
outright bans
education campaigns
scientific research
regulated industry
nutritional information
infringe
awareness

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Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that universities shold only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good be haviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some companies prefer people to work in the office, while others facilitate their employees to work from home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.