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Band 5.5

It is a natural process for animals to become extinct. There is no reason why people should try and avoid this from happening. Do you agree or disagree

#process #animals #reason #people
The world is a massive place, everything comes and goes. Considering that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many people have thought
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the problem of animal extinction. Some think that letting them die out is only natural, others are willing to save them. In my opinion, I agree with the latter.
To begin
 with, in the
last
 couple of decades, species have been wiped out at an alarming rate
due to
 industrialization. The point
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
, human activities are the main cause of the problem. Many buildings and inventions built during its process fail to account for the surrounding ecosystems.
For example
, people are the ones to have started deforestation, which is the leading cause of animal extinction. Now, in my opinion, there are many ways to solve
such
 a problem.
First,
it is a human duty to protect the environment because
this
 is the place we live and should do whatever is possible to preserve biodiversity.
Second,
every single animal has a role in the food chain, interacting with one another like a cog in a mechanism. Many of
such
 species may not be used by humans,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
 should still be protected because those animals are still crucial to the food web and the disappearance of
such
 species can
therefore
 be harmful to the entire system. To wrap it up, it is a human duty to protect the planet and its biodiversity. Every single animal has its role in the ecosystem, and unfortunately, extinction is very high
due to
 humans.
Submitted by isko_dont_forget on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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