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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the percentages of moblie phone owners using various mobile phone features from 2006 to 2010.

The table below shows the percentages of moblie phone owners using various mobile phone features from 2006 to 2010.
#percentages #moblie #phone #owners #features
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The given
table
 chart illustrates the percentages of cell phone owners using various mobile phone features from 2006 to 2010. At a fleeting glance, The consumption of these categories
firstly
, shown in the
table
 make calls percentage was 100 %
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2006 to 2008 but in 2010 It was less than 1%.
Secondly
, the Take photos average was 66% in 2006 and 71% in 2008 But followed
Change preposition
by
show examples
76% in 2010.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 column category Send and receive text messages 73 to 75 % in 2006 to 2008
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
79
Correct word choice
and 79
show examples
 % in 2010. So
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 average was to make calls. Moving
Further
, Play games 17 % in 2006 But there many
change
Change to a plural noun
changes
show examples
 in 2008 of average 42% and 41 % in 2010.
Moreover
, there is no data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Search the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
in 2006 but 41% in 2008
Although
, there many
change
Change to a plural noun
changes
show examples
 in 2010 of 73 %. Following the feature of Play music 12 % in 2006 and 18 to 26 % in 2008 to 2010 records in
table
 chart.
Lastly
, there is no data of record video in 2006
Thus
, 9% to 35% in 2008 to 2010. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, The
table
 chart shows all features an average increase in 2010
However
, 99 to 100% used
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 make calls from 2006 to 2010.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words table with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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