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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities.

the chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities.
#information #subway #systems #three #european #cities
The chart depicts information about one of the transportation systems in
London
,
Paris
, and
Moscow
. In these three cities, the use of subway systems is different.
For example
,
Moscow
Metro
 has the biggest
number
 of
passengers
 who use
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
show examples
 daily. It has 6.5 million
passengers
 each day which is much higher than
Paris
Metro
 with 4.5 million and
London
 Underground with 3 million.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Moscow
 has the most
passengers
, it has the minimum
number
 of
stations
 in operation which is
unexpectable
Replace the word
unexpected
show examples
.
London
 Underground has
408
Correct article usage
a 408
show examples
 km track length which
cross
Change the verb form
crosses
show examples
 275
stations
.
London
Metro
 is the longest one.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 with 300 km track length Moscows after that and
Paris
Metro
 with 214 km is the third one
according to
 the list.
Overall
, the subway systems have different
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
passengers
,
stations
 and total track lengths in these cities.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
 amount of
passengers
 do not related to the length or the
number
 of
stations
.
For example
,
Moscow
Metro
 has the most amounts of
entrance
Fix the agreement mistake
entrances
show examples
 but
Paris
 has 300
stations
 and
London
 has the longest
Metro
 in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 with Moscows.
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, paris, moscow, metro, number, passengers, stations with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
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