IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Social media addiction: Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #addiction #people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
In today’s ,world it is argued by some people that the use of mobile applications
such
 as Facebook has bad effects on individuals and society as well. I partly agree with
this
 point of view. On the one hand, social networks have changed human lives to be better and more convenient.
In other words
 with the development of the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
internet citizens can easily get access to everything.To give a clear example, folk can contact their relatives and friends with whom they have lost connection.,
Moreover
 social media has improved so much that we can contact strangers on the web only knowing their name and surname. In consequence, inhabitants find their old acquaintances new and do not cut off contact with individuals they cannot meet in life.
On the other hand
, crowds have become inclined to live on social media. In other quarters, the majority of web users almost do not live in their real life, they are isolated from their friends and family.
For instance
, for fascinated ,users it is more important to be online, send text messages and video calls rather than go outside and socialize.
Therefore
, the community become attached to their beds,
Thus
 increasing the chance of developing diseases
such
 as obesity and depression. For
this
 ,reason people have to concentrate to improve their quality of life and having fresh air. In conclusion, several problems have been caused by social media despite its advantages, if people had not been that addicted to their phones, the problem will been solved easily.
Submitted by liasmart41 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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