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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 line chart
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of tourists visiting a Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017. It is clear from the graph that the different
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise ships and staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in 2010 the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
staying was 2.5
million
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 increased to 5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2011, but it is wiggle after two years until it reached 1
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2014. After 2014, it continued to rise until it reached 2
million
Use synonyms
 respectively in 2017.
While
Linking Words
 those who went out to the
island
Use synonyms
, they were 750000
visitors
Use synonyms
 and stay
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 after year in 2011.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it is soar double in 2013.
However
Linking Words
, it remained constant
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 three years and in 2016
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 decreased slightly to 1200000 and returned to 1500000 in 2017.
While
Linking Words
 the total of
visitors
Use synonyms
 continue
rise
Add the particle
to rise
show examples
 from 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010 to 2.7
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. After it remained stable until 2016. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased significantly by 800000 approximately in 2017.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 staying on ships
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more than
staying
Correct pronoun usage
those staying
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
an island
the island
show examples
 in 2017 unlike
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
, in general, the total of
visitors
Use synonyms
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 gradually from 2010 until reached to peak in 2017 respectively.
Submitted by ahmed.alzhrany883 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuating trend
  • initially
  • significant increase
  • slight decline
  • momentary setback
  • steady increase
  • minor fluctuations
  • reaching a peak
  • moderate growth
  • notable growth
  • surge in popularity
  • seasonal or yearly factors
  • stagnation
  • growing appeal
  • visitors worldwide
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