Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to leam how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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According to
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me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
both
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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important
Change preposition
in encouraging
show examples
encouraging
Change the verb form
to encourage
show examples
children to take part in organised group activities in their free time
as well as
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it's even important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. My
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
is discussed
blow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
.
Firstly
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, when kids are at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
young age and
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
know what to do at that time parents should help them to give
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
. As they will join
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
actitive
Correct your spelling
active
activity
they will learn so many things like really of a
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, if
family
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the family
a family
show examples
will encourage the
child
Use synonyms
to take part in sports
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
but
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
is
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
in painting
then
Linking Words
parents
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
should support that.
Secondly
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, when kids have grown up and
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to take
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
at that age,
people
Use synonyms
should take themselves
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
own
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. If
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
will
disside
Correct your spelling
decide
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
there own what to do
then
Linking Words
he or she will learn more and more.
Thirdly
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,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is
Correct article usage
the responsibilty
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of old
people
Use synonyms
to advise
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. Adults should take help as much as possible and even old should
also
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give that. If
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are giving help to younger
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
then
Linking Words
they should follow it.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
person is
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
swimming
then
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should tell
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
father that he is interested in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
swimming. In conclusion
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
my view,
Use synonyms
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
should have the freedom to
activities
Add a missing verb
do activities
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
own but on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side parents should
also
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help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them too. A person should join to some
actitives
Correct your spelling
activities
in her free time it will
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
for them.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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