some people believe that voilence on television and computer games has a damaging effect on society. others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. what is your opinion?

#people #voilence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behavior

Nowadays, television and computer

games

are major sources of entertainment among people. Some people argue that brutal content on these media has

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

devastating consequences on communities

while

others argue that these have no prominent effect on public actions. In my opinion, I believe that these elements have a negative impact on people’s conduct.

To begin

with, viewers who perceive disturbing visuals through digital platforms have adverse effects on their mental health.

In addition

adult’s

Fix the agreement mistake

adults’

show examples

exposure to violent media can lose their tranquil mindset often

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

to aggressive behaviour.

Furthermore

, these harmful contents have a horrendous blow on children’s cognitive development.

For instance

, a report by the United States Department of Education and the Secret Service examined 37 incidents of targeted school shootings and found that “over half of the attackers demonstrated some interest in violence through video

games

and television programs.

Therefore

this

kind of entertainment can endanger children’s future and destroy the adult’s harmonious mind.

Secondly

, many children, teenagers and adults are addicted to watching ferocious Video

Games

and web series on Television. They

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

enormous pleasure which makes them exaggerate their negative thoughts.

Moreover

this

creates a lasting impression on their minds and leads to dreadful activities.

For example

, a movie like Texas Chainsaw is a terrifying experience and results in anxious arousal from seeing

such

imagery.

On the other hand

, Video

Games

like Mortal Combat

causes enhancement

Wrong verb form

enhance

show examples

of combative spirit among children.

As a result

, truculent people may fight in the real world

instead

of evincing their conflictive nature in virtual reality. In conclusion, I would say that violence in contemporary TV programs and Computer

Games

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

substantial

Add an article

a substantial

show examples

influence on people’s actions.

However

, these detrimental effects on individuals can be inhibited by avoiding

such

media.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that voilence on television and computer games has a damaging effect on society. others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. what is your opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

In many countries, plastic containers have been more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?