IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people nowadays live in societies where consumer goods are relatively cheap Do you thing the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #societies #consumer #goods #outweigh
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Today's era is significantly
advanced
Correct quantifier usage
more advanced
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 than that of the past and
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
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 of cheap consumer
products
Use synonyms
 attracts
people
Use synonyms
 to buy things more frequently than ever before. Even though the living standard of
people
Use synonyms
 has improved with
this
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, I feel that the demerits of
this
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trend
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 cannot be overlooked. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,
as a result
Linking Words
 of globalisation
people
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 can access
the
Correct article usage
apply
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national and
the
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apply
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international
products
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 at
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, new gadgets
such
Linking Words
 as Android cell phones are available in the market at an acceptable price that everyone can afford. In a sense, the widespread use of
such
Linking Words
 technological devices has improved the way we communicate but
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 creating a throwaway society. The gap between the rich and poor has narrowed in terms of their ability to purchase consumer
products
Use synonyms
. Living standard has improved and basic needs are easily met these days and more
people
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 have the
opportunities
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opportunity
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 to select from more options.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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 are purchasing things that do not even need. A single person has multiple cell phones and they are busy all day with their cell phones and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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.
Thus
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming less social.
The technology
Correct article usage
Technology
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 changes rapidly and
thus
Linking Words
people
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 need to change the model of a product within
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 months. The amount of
wastage
Replace the word
waste
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 created from these electronic devices is a matter of great concern.
Cheaper
Add an article
The cheaper
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 of cars and motorbikes are the primary reason for traffic congestion and the habit of purchasing
products
Use synonyms
 that
people
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 do not really need is a very bad
trend
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the cheaply available goods, a newer
trend
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 of material possession has emerged. Nowadays
people
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 consider
this
Linking Words
 as their status symbol.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who possess
the
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apply
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branded gadgets or
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 cars earn a respectable position in
the
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apply
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society and
this
Linking Words
 is a degradation of morality and social value.
In addition
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,
this
Linking Words
trend
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 leads to
a
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apply
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throwaway culture and the amount of trash produced each day is increased dangerously.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
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 environmental pollution is irreversible.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cheap
Correct article usage
the cheap
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 availability of
products
Use synonyms
 motivates
people
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 to consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unwanted
products
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.
Last
Linking Words
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
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least, most of the technologies used for developing
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
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products
Use synonyms
 are harmful to human health and human life is jeopardised.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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