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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #migration #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart describes why
people
Use synonyms
 choose to move to the
UK
Use synonyms
 and why others decide to leave the
UK
Use synonyms
 in the year 2007. In general,
thereare
Correct your spelling
there are
a number of immigrants
such
Linking Words
 as studying, joining family, working, and
other
Add a missing verb
do other
show examples
 things.
However
Linking Words
, it can be seen that employment was one major reason followed. Only a few
people
Use synonyms
 gave no reasons for moving to the
UK
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 leaving the
Uk
Use synonyms
 to study overseas was not so common.
First,
Linking Words
30% of
people
Use synonyms
 moved to the
UK
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of a job definite job offer.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by 26% of international students studying in that country.
In addition
Linking Words
, a sizeable number of
people
Use synonyms
 (15%) lived in the
UK
Use synonyms
 to accompany or join their relatives.
Whereas
Linking Words
, 6% had no reasons.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some citizens of the
UK
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 left their home country to find a job overseas. It is shown that 29% travelled to other countries.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it was
also
Linking Words
 common for
people
Use synonyms
 to leave the
UK
Use synonyms
 to find employment and for no reason with 22% and 10% respectively. Interestingly, 4% of residents left the
UK
Use synonyms
 to be international students in other countries as compared to immigrants.
Submitted by deborahmmunengami on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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