Some think that the government should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #government #support #people #care

It is argued that retirees should get financial support from the

government

However

, some

people

think that they are able

of serving

Change preposition

to serve

show examples

themselves. In my opinion, both of these are necessary. There is a wide range of benefits for the retiree who

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

supported by finance from the

government

Firstly

, They have an additional source of income to assist their lives.

This

makes them independent in their life and they can help their family increase economic from

government

revenue by the way they do not use money from their children.

Secondly

, the authorities

also

can support medically retired

people

which will provide them

better

Change preposition

with better

show examples

health.

Therefore

, they can spend plenty of time with their family.

For instance

, my grandmother, who is 75 years old, has been receiving around medical free every month in my local hospital.

On the other hand

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirees are

possible

Correct word choice

able

show examples

to take over their lives for themselves.

To begin

with, retired individuals can help their nation's strong growth.

For example

, in many countries, they can work to give money to the

government

by paying monthly taxes.

This

makes their country's economy flourish.

In addition

, they can

aim

Verb problem

target

show examples

young residents and share experiences which they have been doing in

this

job for a long time.

For example

, these

people

who are working for the

government

can provide knowledge for young

people

and address their job problems easily.

As a result

, their nations may develop more and more. In conclusion,

although

retired citizens are supported financially by the

government

. I believe that they can still work and support themselves

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Wed Jul 12 2023

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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