Some think that the government should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued that retirees should get financial support from the

government

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

think that they are able

of serving

Change preposition

to serve

show examples

themselves. In my opinion, both of these are necessary. There is a wide range of benefits for the retiree who

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

supported by finance from the

government

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, They have an additional source of income to assist their lives.

This

Linking Words

makes them independent in their life and they can help their family increase economic from

government

Use synonyms

revenue by the way they do not use money from their children.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the authorities

also

Linking Words

can support medically retired

people

Use synonyms

which will provide them

better

Change preposition

with better

show examples

health.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they can spend plenty of time with their family.

For instance

Linking Words

, my grandmother, who is 75 years old, has been receiving around medical free every month in my local hospital.

On the other hand

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirees are

possible

Correct word choice

able

show examples

to take over their lives for themselves.

To begin

Linking Words

with, retired individuals can help their nation's strong growth.

For example

Linking Words

, in many countries, they can work to give money to the

government

Use synonyms

by paying monthly taxes.

This

Linking Words

makes their country's economy flourish.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can

aim

Verb problem

target

show examples

young residents and share experiences which they have been doing in

this

Linking Words

job for a long time.

For example

Linking Words

, these

people

Use synonyms

who are working for the

government

Use synonyms

can provide knowledge for young

people

Use synonyms

and address their job problems easily.

As a result

Linking Words

, their nations may develop more and more. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

retired citizens are supported financially by the

government

Use synonyms

. I believe that they can still work and support themselves

anhnguhongmai

Jul 12, 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Connect your ideas more effectively and use transition words to improve coherence.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government
support
retired
financially
believe
take care
comfortably
dignity
savings
needs
food
housing
contributed
society
work
taxes
right
healthcare
costs
high
medical
manage
finances
planning
independence
responsibility
prepare
retirement
pension
help
care

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Some think that the government should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

IN MANY CITIES TODAY MOST PEOPLE LIVE IN LARGE APARTMENT BLOCKS DOES THIS KIND OF ACCOMODATION HAVE MORE ADVANTAGES OR MORE DISADVANTAGES

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