These days, many people like to watch live performances (such as shows or concerts) at home, either on TV or on a computer, instead of attending in person. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #performances #concerts #home #tv #computer #person #trend

There are more and more

people

who prefer to watch events on their electronic devices rather than attend live shows. In my opinion,

while

there are some compelling reasons to do that, the consequences are outweighed by

far

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the benefits. On the one hand, watching a live performance broadcast on TV is a convenient and money-saving choice.

Firstly

people

don’t need to reserve tickets and long-distance journeys for live shows. When

people

join crowded venues, they will face risks of accidents like injuries and pushing and shoving,

as well as

criminal activities like theft or pickpocketing.

Secondly

while

tickets to live shows are very expensive, watching live concerts at home is more affordable and even cost-free for the audience.

This

helps many

people

with limited financial means access

such

captivating entertainment.

As a result

, a televised performance has many advantages for becoming popular.

On the other hand

, becoming a part of a live concert is exceedingly captivating in many aspects. Live shows and their atmosphere with thousands of

people

and high-quality sound always evoke profound emotions in participants. As a part of an enthusiastic crowd,

people

can experience passion to the fullest, which they cannot find in recorded shows. Live concerts are

also

good choices to make friends who share the same interests.

Moreover

, attendees can get closer to their idols, interact, and express their admiration.

For instance

, when Blackpink was scheduled to perform in Vietnam in July for no more than a day, the concert sold out completely.

This

shows the love of fans for their band. In conclusion, I believe that despite the advantages of a broadcast show, attending a concert in person offers a more fascinating experience.

Submitted by phamnhung275 on Wed Jul 12 2023

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Language use

Avoid using contractions such as 'don’t' in academic writing.

Language use

Be careful with word choice; 'captivating' entertainment should be referred to as 'engaging' or 'exciting' entertainment.

Language use

Remove redundancies, e.g. 'Blackpink was scheduled to perform in Vietnam in July for no more than a day,' could simply be 'Blackpink's performance in Vietnam sold out.'

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, many people like to watch live performances (such as shows or concerts) at home, either on TV or on a computer, instead of attending in person. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons behind this view? What are the solutions to change it?

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles, Other people feel that it is important to reasat the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep.

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children.