It is common for people to travel long distances for work and study. Some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #travel #distances #work #study #argue #times

last

recent decades, based on laxity in job opportunities, living in metropolitan cities, and so on, people have to spend a lot of time and energy on the way. So, there are two different kinds of view as follow; the one is that shipment times can have detrimental effects on human beings, and the second is that longer commute times do not have drawbacks.

Although

there are so many benefits in working and travelling long distances to your workplace or studying institutes, I side with the first opinion.

Firstly

, transportation imposes a great deal of money on the national budget, and every day millions of people use public transport so governments have to disburse money and it is not financially justifiable.

However

, by accumulating money, authorities can provide job opportunities or progress to elite universities. Having provided career opportunities, governments can disburse eco-friendly vehicles, and

subsequently

, they prevent air pollution which appears by transportation.

Secondly

, physical pain paves the way for mental disorders so, by travelling far distances, people are about to be frustrated.

Consequently

, frustration can make a lot of family conflicts, and it can affect their life a group of problems will be appeared in the family

such

as family breakdowns and children's upbringing issues.

Finally

, it is said to immigration to the cities has increased in

last

recent decades, and it is

due to

better accommodations and facilities which are currently provided in megacities so it has a detrimental effect on our rural life.

For example

, our industries which rely on rural districts will be damaged and a great part of our domestic product will be decreased.

Accordingly

, GDP will decrease, and it hinder sustainable country progressions. In conclusion,

although

there are so many benefits to working and studying in prestigious associations, it has lots of drawbacks to consider

such

as wasting the national budget, mental disorders, and destroying rural lives and industries.

Submitted by amirmasoumi93 on Wed Jul 12 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

317 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

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