Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is
indubitable
Correct article usage
an indubitable

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fact that the health sector has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply

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improved
from
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over

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the past few decades and
hence
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,
people
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are now living better than past. Some
people
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come with the notion that the aged
people
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are a burden on the higher authority,
whereas
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, others think that it is always good to have the elderly population in a country. I believe that
advantages
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the advantages

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of having
the
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apply

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old aged persons are far more in comparison with
drawbacks
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the drawbacks

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.
However
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, there are some responsibilities which the government and family members should take for
well
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the well

The noun phrase well being seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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being of the senior citizens. To commence with, the first benefit of having
the
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apply

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aged
people
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is guidance which one can get after conversing with them.
In other words
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,
the
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apply

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older
people
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are more experienced than adults;
therefore
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, they can teach them in an effective manner by providing better understanding.
For example
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, it is always seen that the children that take
advice
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the advice

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of their grandparents do better in every field as compared to their peers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who

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do not involve their elders in their life decisions.
The another
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Another

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prominent reason for having the old aged
people
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is the responsibilities that they can take
care
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of. Children or adults do not feel alone as they very well know that they have their elders with them that can handle any tough situation.
For instance
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, it is observed through surveys of India that
youngster
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youngsters

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who have old aged
people
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in the family do not bother much regarding finances since all
such
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work
in
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is

The word in doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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being handled by the aged ones.
On the other hand
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, taking
care
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of
the
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apply

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old aged
people
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is one of the biggest
liability
Fix the agreement mistake
liabilities

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which individuals have to carry .
This
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is because of their medical conditions,
dependancy
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dependency

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and less strength in muscles.
Thus
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, the onus is on family members and youth to take proper
care
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of the senior members of
the
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society. In conclusion, it is always beneficial to have our elders with us as they give right path towards our goals and satisfaction with their presence;
nonetheless
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, in return, they only want love, respect and
care
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from their children and society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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