Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of school children is to make physical education compulsory in all schools. Others, however, think that this would have little effect on overall health and other measures are needed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #children #education #schools #effect #health #measures

According to

,me both important physical

education

as well as

other measures are

also

needed. Schools should give both

education

. My opinion is described below.

Firstly

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school children is to make physical

education

compulsory in all schools. As

Correct article usage

the

show examples

world has become a small market to live

, in

Change preposition

in, in

show examples

this

market not only book study is effective but physical study is

also

required. Institutions should provide more physical knowledge but it should not be compulsory it should be

according to

choice.

For example

, if a child gets 100% in school but can not able to solve real-life problems

then

his

education

will be not benefited.

People

should make choices on their own.

Secondly

, others,

however

, think that would have little effect on

overall

health and other measures are

also

needed. Only physical knowledge is not more but

also

overall

development is needed like health, speech, values of

people

and much more. Students should be involved in other activities like sports, dance, music, arts and much more.

For example

, If a child is highly educated but their health will not be good

then

there will be no use for learning. In conclusion,

according to

,me both is needed learning about day-to-day life

as well as

overall

growth is a benefit. It can not be said that physical learning has little effect only. Institutions should not make any rule compulsory for the

people

. They should be

overall

growth for the

people

by society.

Submitted by purvametaliya99 on Thu Jul 13 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
general well-being
physical fitness
mental health
a healthy lifestyle
teamwork
discipline
dietary issues
holistic health programs
nutritional education
inclusive environments
multifaceted approach
fostering a culture
mental health support

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