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Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing young population has affected older people how the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

#population #people #situation
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According to
Linking Words
, be increasing young population has affected older people which a have much more advantages
this
Linking Words
 disadvantages. The advantages and disadvantages have been discussed below.
Firstly
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, as the young population is
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 there are lot many developments is seen.
For example
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, today,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new people have introduced so many things like
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 which have made our life easy. Growing more the children have development in technology. Kids have made goods and services easier to get
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from the market in less amount. At the
workplaces
Add a comma
,workplaces
show examples
 more contribution is from a new staff. Old groups are not getting more and more placement
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the young.
Secondly
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, there are some things which development is wrong ways.
For example
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, as a number of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children are high day by day
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 affects
old
Add an article
an old
show examples
 person by getting
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 chances and much more.
Thirdly
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, if a new generation and
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 old generation will work together
then
Linking Words
 it will be better for the nation. In the growth of the nation
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
as well as
Linking Words
 old
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have contributed. As kids are doing more and more so old people are not getting more benefits
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 jobs. In
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 time
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
 from the young is taken more and more than
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 old. New groups are helping
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 to learn new things. In conclusion, increasing a community has affected in good ways to
old
Add an article
an old
the old
show examples
 person. From the blow, information
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the increasing young population have
Linking Words
such
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
 more position than the negative.
However
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, it advantages of
this
Linking Words
 situation do not outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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