IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Pressure on the school and university students is incresing and students are pushed to hardwork when they are young.Do you think it is a positive or negative.

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It is an irrefutable fact that
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
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 on the learners is elevating and
ther
Correct your spelling
they
 are forced to do
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 to get good scores.
Although
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development has a bright
side
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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its negative
side
Use synonyms
 cannot be overlooked.Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects would be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,the trend has some positive aspects.The most prominent
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
 is that children get
encourged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
 to achieve their goals.
Due to
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 fear of their
parents
Add a comma
,parents
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 juveniles
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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regular
Change the word
regularly
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 study for their exams.
Moreover
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,they feel happy when they get good marks
in
Change preposition
on
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 the exam and make their parents proud as well. On the paradoxical
side
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,taking
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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side
Use synonyms
 into consideration.The first and foremost reason is that
due to
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pressure
Correct article usage
the pressure
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 of
school
Use synonyms
 students fall into depression.Their brain
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not work properly and they are
also
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 affected by different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of diseases
such
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 as problems related
heart
Add the particle
to heart
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 , brain and so on.To cite an example,
school
Use synonyms
 authorities give
lot
Add an article
a lot
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 of homework to learners to finish
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in one day they try their best complete the work in the given time period but they get depressed
while
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 doing the work.The
school
Use synonyms
 authorities
also
Linking Words
 give
assigements
Correct your spelling
assignments
 to make even in vacations by which students do enjoy their holidays.
Furthermore
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,their
overall
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grow
Replace the word
growth
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 is stopped.They always involve in their studies
by
Change preposition
apply
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which
Correct word choice
and
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 they do not play any sport.They faced problems related to other fields.
Hence
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,they do not become active and their
grow
Replace the word
growth
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 will stop because they do not play any sports.
To conclude
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,after analyzing both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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aspects,I assert that
school
Use synonyms
 authorities avoid
to put
Change the verb form
putting
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 too much load on the students so that they get the chance to play sports and develop their
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
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.The
school
Use synonyms
managemet
Correct your spelling
management
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to understand the situation of the learners.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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