The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?
It is argued that compared with treating existing patients and their
illnesses
, it is more valuable to prevent those diseases by funding the development of healthcare
industry. I partially agree with Correct article usage
the healthcare
this
opinion and believe that financial investment in illnesses
is still necessary in contemporary society.
On the one hand, the prevention of diseases should be valued with an increase in governmental funding because it can reduce the illness rate from the beginning. That means with the help of healthcare
professionals, people
can live a healthy life
by eating proper food or taking
routine exercise, which can mitigate their potential health problems, leading to the improvement of their Verb problem
doing
life
quality. For example
, as the research related to obesity goes deeper, it has prevented many people
with over-weighted
problems from getting severe Correct your spelling
overweight
illnesses
, such
as heart disease or diabetes. Therefore
, it is reasonable for governments to financially support the development of healthcare
.
On the other hand
, the breakthroughs in medicine and treatment have undeniable contributions to people
's life
and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
industry is still playing a crucial role to improve
Change preposition
in improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
overall
well-being. No matter how great we tried
to prevent diseases, Wrong verb form
try
people
would
still get sick someday naturally. Under Wrong verb form
will
such
circumstances, proper treatments can help patients by diagnosing their problems, reducing their pain, and curing them from serious illnesses
which may cause death, thereby, resulting in longer and healthier life
for the general public. For example
, because of the findings of antibiotics, people
nowadays never need to worry about the miserable situation that happened during the Black Death will come again. Considering these reasons, governments should continuously fund the research of medicine.
In conclusion, from my perspective, although
healthcare
institutions play a critical role in improving the life
quality of the general public, medical development still has its essential value in the improvement of well-being. It is important for the government to strike a balance in financially supporting these two industries, as both of them have the same aim, which is to promise a healthier life
for people
around the world.Submitted by mxinyao on
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Task Response
The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points. Ensure that the main body paragraphs support the thesis statement and maintain a clear focus on the task question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates cohesive paragraph structures, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance cohesion.