The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

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It is argued that compared with treating existing patients and their

illnesses

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, it is more valuable to prevent those diseases by funding the development of

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healthcare

Correct article usage

the healthcare

show examples

industry. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion and believe that financial investment in

illnesses

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is still necessary in contemporary society. On the one hand, the prevention of diseases should be valued with an increase in governmental funding because it can reduce the illness rate from the beginning. That means with the help of

healthcare

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professionals,

people

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can live a healthy

life

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by eating proper food or

taking

Verb problem

doing

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routine exercise, which can mitigate their potential health problems, leading to the improvement of their

life

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quality.

For example

Linking Words

, as the research related to obesity goes deeper, it has prevented many

people

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with

over-weighted

Correct your spelling

overweight

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problems from getting severe

illnesses

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such

Linking Words

as heart disease or diabetes.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is reasonable for governments to financially support the development of

healthcare

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, the breakthroughs in medicine and treatment have undeniable contributions to

people

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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and

this

Linking Words

industry is still playing a crucial role

to improve

Change preposition

in improving

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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overall

Linking Words

well-being. No matter how great we

tried

Wrong verb form

try

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to prevent diseases,

people

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would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

still get sick someday naturally. Under

such

Linking Words

circumstances, proper treatments can help patients by diagnosing their problems, reducing their pain, and curing them from serious

illnesses

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which may cause death, thereby, resulting in longer and healthier

life

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for the general public.

For example

Linking Words

, because of the findings of antibiotics,

people

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nowadays never need to worry about the miserable situation that happened during the Black Death will come again. Considering these reasons, governments should continuously fund the research of medicine. In conclusion, from my perspective,

although

Linking Words

healthcare

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institutions play a critical role in improving the

life

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quality of the general public, medical development still has its essential value in the improvement of well-being. It is important for the government to strike a balance in financially supporting these two industries, as both of them have the same aim, which is to promise a healthier

life

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for

people

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around the world.

mxinyaoFri Jul 14 2023

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Task Response

The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points. Ensure that the main body paragraphs support the thesis statement and maintain a clear focus on the task question.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates cohesive paragraph structures, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and supporting details to enhance cohesion.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

In many cities around the world polution levels have been risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Nowadays, most of the information is available on the Internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.