being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sport personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems ?

#celebrity-such #film #star #sport #personality #celebrity

In recent years, a certain group of people believe that being a popular person

such

as a singer, movie star, and athlete could bring you

fortune

Add an article

a fortune

show examples

life

However

, there are other people who argue that being a

celebrity

also

creates more problems as your

life

will be publicly watched both on social

media

and in

life

Although

I am in agreement with the second idea, I personally think that living as a

celebrity

would bring you more advantages that can make

life

easier.

This

is because popularity will give some engagement and connection which could bring more opportunities in

life

. On the one hand, many believe that being an entertainment personality is a chance to change your

life

for the better. As a

celebrity

, a person would be well-known not only to the public, but

also

noticed by the government, politicians, investors, and some other stakeholders who could benefit the

celebrity

to some extent.

For example

, there are some TV personalities in Indonesia who receive scholarships, investment offerings, and political requests. Another profit that could

also

be achieved is advertisement endorsements in social

media

which can bring some financial fortune to the

celebrity

. I believe if the big names could utilize the opportunities wisely, those could bring them goodness and influence a bigger audience in the future.

On the other hand

, it could not be avoided that being a superstar could

also

stress you. Being publicly watched 24/7 through social

media

and real

life

would affect the mental health of the

celebrity

. Some artists who cannot manage their fame and critics that came openly

Change preposition

show examples

their social

media

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

decided to step back from entertainment's

life

due to

mental health issues. In my opinion, it is true that being a famous person would bring day and night into someone's

life

. Popularity and unlimited opportunities are the advantages of living the

celebrity

life

, but it is

also

important for the

big name

Add a hyphen

big-name

show examples

to manage their emotional health to achieve a long-lasting carrier.

Submitted by usafakhri on Fri Jul 14 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

331 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Celebrity status
Public scrutiny
Fan base
Media attention
Financial gain
Privacy invasion
Adulation
Pressure of fame
Paparazzi
Social responsibility

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being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sport personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think schools should teach students to form good behavior in addition to providing normal education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say it is manufactures' and supermarkets’ responsibility to reduce the amount of packing of products they sell and others say it is the consumers’ responsibility to avoid buying products with too much packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?n?